Beyond Twilight: Ashley Greene's Real-Life Saga of Motherhood and Entrepreneurship

[00:00:00] When you go and you are the first real job that you book is a billion dollar franchise, when that is over, where do you go? I wanted to bring you on because I saw what you were doing.

[00:00:11] And it's not just like, oh, she's an actress and she's from Twilight. That's not the part that interests me about you. You know what I mean? Like you're actually making an impact. And I think that's so beautiful. So you can cry on cue. Yeah. Generally. Ashley Green. Yeah.

[00:00:30] Ashley Green. Yeah. Ashley Green actress, entrepreneur, wife, mom. Yep. What else? Sing or dance or no, I'm kidding. I was like, oh, share. As much as my husband tries to get me to. Did he get, he tries to get you to sing and dance? Yeah.

[00:00:48] I mean, I sing to our baby all the time. And I can hold a tune. And so he's like, you can sing. And we live in LA. It's a very different thing. Yeah. When you go to karaoke, I'm like, those people can sing. But God bless them.

[00:01:01] He's very supportive. Yeah, I love that. I want to start from the beginning. Okay. How you got into acting. And then also I feel like there's a pipeline from actress to entrepreneur that I've been seeing has become more popular. And I love it. Yeah. Because. Why not?

[00:01:22] Why not? And also it's so empowering to be your own boss and start something that you're passionate about. And have some form of control over too. That's the other thing. That's the other thing.

[00:01:34] Which like I say that loosely because it is so much of it seems out of you control is like especially when you're doing a startup and there's little fires everywhere all the time, but it is still yours and you still have created this thing.

[00:01:45] So yeah, we'll get to that. But basically I thought I was going to be a model. My mom put me in these modeling classes because I was extremely shy. Actually just to test and I'm on introvert is here and I'm right here. Which is just interesting profession.

[00:02:03] But anyway, she put me in this class because I was super duper shy and they had a commercial class as part of the modeling package because maybe you would do Maybelline. And I did the commercial and class and loved it and kind of said oh, this is something

[00:02:18] I really like. And so the same teacher he taught an intensive scene study class and I took it and just kind of that was it. And I kind of realized that this was available to me.

[00:02:30] I didn't even realize at the time that like I could even be an actress and that was a thing. How old were you? I was 14 around. Wow, okay. And where were you living?

[00:02:39] I grew up so the first part of my life I was in a place called Middleburg, Florida and it's about 45 minutes outside of Jacksonville. And like it was dirt roads and my neighborhood horses and you know we just I was home

[00:02:51] schooled and so the entertainment industry just I never even fathomed it. And then moved to Jacksonville when I was 14 and was opened up to a lot of different things. But yeah, ended up kind of going I really like this I'm gonna pursue it and got to

[00:03:08] the point where I went to New York, found an agent or a manager and they said you know basically like you need to move to LA if you want to be able to do this. And this is when pilot season was still a thing.

[00:03:21] And they were like you have to be in LA for pilot season and so I finally convinced my parents. My dad was really hard to convince and they said okay we'll let you move to LA for

[00:03:32] a year because I graduated high school early because I had all my credits and so they said all right you have this gap year basically we'll let you go to LA. And if you can figure it out and survive on your own after the year then

[00:03:43] you can stay out there. And I did. I mean they helped, they like saved money, got me this place in Glendale for like a year that I shared with two other people and then I just kind of started

[00:03:56] like working and booking small enough things and then you know got very lucky and within two, three years I booked Twilight and after that happened it was kind of like I'm never coming back home hopefully but yeah and then that just kind of like

[00:04:13] put things into hyperspeed and was the most insane time of my life and also after all things Twilight I had a lot of things to unpack and a lot of things to figure out mental health wise because I just when you're thrown into something

[00:04:29] like that it was really exciting and we were go go go for like five six years but then the aftermath of like who are you apart from this massively successful franchise that you're a part of and what do you do after that was kind of like

[00:04:43] it was a bit of a shift for me and something that I had to like really work through but obviously grateful to have been a part of it. I mean it set me up for the rest of my life, my career and opportunities.

[00:04:54] Yeah 100% but so what was it that you felt like you had to address your mental health? Which by the way so common you hear that from so many people in Hollywood. Yeah I mean I just think this place in general is not for the faint of heart

[00:05:10] like it is really it's brutal sometimes and it's a lot of rejection and I think you really do have to have a thick skin if you're gonna be doing this and you combine that too with a lot of people who are in this profession

[00:05:24] are a bit sensitive and do tap into a lot of really big emotions and so figuring out a way to balance that is super important but also you know when I booked Twilight I was 20 and went through kind of that growing up phase

[00:05:40] of my 20s in the spotlight and like became this person that I think that everyone wanted me to be and a lot of that is it's similar to my personality but Alice the character I played was just this kind of like perfect like I

[00:05:57] don't know this inspiration to a lot of people and was extremely positive and I wanted to be able to be that for a lot of people and kind of fed into that and then just you know didn't really take the time to like truly figure out

[00:06:13] who I was and what I wanted and what I was separate from that and then when you go and you you know are the first real job that you book is a billion dollar franchise when that is over where do you go from there

[00:06:27] and I mean to be able to go up from there is really unlikely for a lot of people and I also had to figure out what my life was without these people that I

[00:06:37] had been with for six years of my life and you know throughout my early 20s the cast members my the people surrounding you the publicist the stylist the you know any anybody that's like with you because we were on set you know

[00:06:54] four months out of the year but then I would say for like a solid eight months out of the year we were doing you know either we're on set or we're doing the PR for it or magazine shoots or award shows and that's all like great and

[00:07:07] sounds glamorous and is like very was fun to be a part of but like then you just like cut out all of those people that you had you know throughout your

[00:07:15] 20s and it was just so really it was a little bit of a tough time for me and I was trying to figure out my self-worth apart from my career because it was just

[00:07:23] like very so tied in yeah yeah so what what was the process like when you're doing that because you hear it all the time like you need to find yourself you need to love yourself you need to connect with yourself like what what does

[00:07:37] that look like the hardest thing was like admitting one that I had like issues that I could not control like I always wanted to just be able to like figure it out and be strong and deal with everything myself and like not share it with a lot

[00:07:53] of people and not say like I'm having these these points of weakness and like I am like I was drinking a lot more than I should have been part of that as your 20s and part of that was just like you know I feel like I was kind

[00:08:02] of self-medicating a bit to not deal with these big feelings that I have been suppressing for so long and it really wasn't happy about that part of my life it just really doesn't like if you know me today like it

[00:08:13] really doesn't fit in with like who I am and so there was that part was a bit quite of it and also just like admitting to myself and to my husband at the time he stole my husband at the time admitting to him that like I had

[00:08:27] a lot of self-loathing and I had like I was it I didn't feel like I belonged I didn't feel like I deserved a lot of what I had been given because it happened so quickly and so I really had to just be first and foremost open

[00:08:41] and honest about that and then kind of take steps you know quietly and I did this but like to figure out I got completely sober so I was like right if I'm gonna like figure this out I need to have a clear mind and I don't need to

[00:08:52] have the ups and downs of being hung over or whatever and and then started doing like you know meditation work and journaling and really like out really expressing my feelings and there was a lot of tears and there was you know

[00:09:05] I think a lot of like hard times but it was just like I had to kind of dig in and go like why also figure out like what my triggers were why I felt the way

[00:09:13] that I did what could have possibly happened in my childhood I was carrying over to me so just like a lot of really hard questions that I think you have to honestly ask yourself an honestly answer and thankfully I had my husband Paul

[00:09:27] who's like my life coach basically he's amazing to kind of you know be able to debounce that off of and kind of rally with me throughout the whole process but you know it was a it was a lot because I think you hold all that in

[00:09:39] for so long like it takes a while to unpack it and to then really feel like you are you know a wonderful person with a lot to bring to the table that absolutely deserves to be here and is worthy of love and and sees kind of

[00:09:53] the potential or sees what they bring to other people's life too so it was a lot it was a big process for me but it was also something like I'm so grateful I figured out before I had a kid because there's you know there's so many things now

[00:10:07] that I feel like I have the toolkit for and I I can kind of use on myself that I can teach her from a very young age because I think a lot of us weren't taught these things like we just didn't have the parents didn't have this

[00:10:19] either no it's like our parents weren't going to therapy and doing shadow work and all this stuff yeah I think about that all the time and now I'm like it's funny now I'm like it's cool it is cool but but did you go to like a

[00:10:32] program or like a therapist or what because you you clearly have you know you had resources where we're like where did you learn about this time I did I just I feel like books and apps and and kind of worked with you know spoke to

[00:10:46] I think Paul and his his mother were really helpful for me in conversations with my mother too I didn't ever really go to anyone which is something that I actually am now to the place where I feel like I want to there

[00:10:59] was right when I got pregnant like I felt like I'd made really big breakthroughs but I didn't want to do like I really want to do like trigger work because there's I feel like you can identify as much as possible but like there's

[00:11:11] still some things that like instantly get me going that I really do work on but I didn't want to do that while I was pregnant or while she was super young because they can really feed off your energy so it's like definitely

[00:11:21] something it's you know it's all steps I think we're all continuing to really like better ourselves but at that time I was just like I don't know if that's great for her but I have there's an app that I use now called the aura

[00:11:34] app that is basically like it's like breath work and meditation and affirmations and they have access to therapists and like kind of all of these things I had like six different apps and have now made it into one that I

[00:11:47] just I'd swear by it there's like one that I put on before I go to sleep and it's subliminal affirmations while you sleep and they just play all night while you sleep it does like it starts off for like the first I don't know like

[00:12:00] 30 40 minutes where like you hear the affirmations and then they're all subliminal and it's just like this like music that you listen to and it makes such a you know it makes such a big difference when you wake up and

[00:12:10] it's like the easy I feel like it's like the easy hack to to better yourself while you're sleeping I need to do this yeah I'm gonna go okay I'm gonna get my hot Paul literally was like I don't know like within like a week

[00:12:21] or two of using it there then we can move on because I don't want to like really pushing this company I'm actually no I love it I love this but my husband was like I don't know what you're doing but like whatever it is like your vibrations

[00:12:35] are super high and like you're so confident like I love the person that you are right now and I had been using this for like two weeks and I was like well there's this thing that I listen to why I sleep but you know

[00:12:44] when you're sleeping and generally your subconscious is so much more powerful than then when we're awake in our conscious like thoughts and words that we say to ourselves so I think it's a really smart way especially if you're

[00:12:58] like new to this process to kind of dip your toe into it yeah oh a hundred percent Paul sounds like super supportive and amazing yeah and I feel like relationships are you know are described at least as as difficult and

[00:13:15] difficult to find and then work to be in but yeah I think you know what it is there is work but I think it's similar to how you're always working on yourself right now you're always working to better yourself like you always have to work

[00:13:29] to maintain the relationship the same way that you work to maintain a relationship with your mom or your best friend that lives cross-country or kind of like I see it as work in that way versus it being so hard because

[00:13:41] it shouldn't be that hard like there's definitely hard times and moments but there are I think that's like when you build up this really good base in your relationship like during those hard moments you figure out like who needs who

[00:13:53] the most and like there are sometimes really I'm really there and that pillar for him and there are days when I'm just like I don't have it in me and and he's there for me and I think you've got to just like you know you've

[00:14:04] really got to find someone who is willing to put in as much effort as you are that's that's the key yeah what's the story with Paul how did you meet and how how did you realize like he's the one this is different than every other

[00:14:18] relationship I've ever been in you know part of it I think was like we came together at the right time silly Paul and I had been really good friends for five years before we ever started dating he ended up coming into there was

[00:14:35] like a group of guys that I was I was the girl in this guy group and a lot of the guys lived together and Paul ended up moving into that house and became a part of this friend group and so he you know was we were everywhere together

[00:14:50] for like five years and and never looked at each other in a romantic way and I were both like off doing our own things and saw each other like our absolute best and our absolute worst and the messy times and and the good

[00:15:02] times and and then one day he came over I just finally like gotten my house and I was in escrow forever and and so I was just like I got the house everyone come

[00:15:14] by like when you can and so it wasn't like a plan thing and he came over he brought me an orchid and we talked for like two hours and that was the first time that he and I had ever been alone and ever just like really

[00:15:26] had just a very raw real conversation and something clicked in me where I was like oh I actually really like you I think and was just kind of like huh you know what I'm gonna pursue this and like it was a undeniable like I was just

[00:15:44] like there's something about him that I had noticed I guess or had been kind of missing and hadn't paid attention and and so then I pursued him for like two or three weeks because okay wait what is what is that okay what is that

[00:15:59] he worked at a bar he's a bartender okay but I like would show up on some nights and just like hang out like towards the end of the night and then be there like

[00:16:08] when he closed and then we were like hang out and have conversations and he was kind of like what is happening right now and then finally like he walks me to my car one time and then I kissed him you kissed him yeah see I love that

[00:16:20] yeah I mean it's a bold move and I think women don't do it enough because we're taught in all the books and all the you know everything that's out there it's like let him chase you and bubble and it's like I'm telling you

[00:16:36] there's something going on because the girls that I know who are in like healthy relationships mm-hmm I think the common denominator that I'm seeing is that like go for it no they recognize in a healthy way of course like I like this

[00:16:48] guy yeah and I'm not gonna let this go yeah there's something that like he makes me feel good yeah yeah versus it being because that is I mean it is very true I didn't really thought about it but like you know if you're trying you're

[00:17:01] playing games and you're trying to be hard to get and like trying to be whatever this guy you know whatever gets him going it's like you're not actually being your authentic self yeah what is he giving to you yeah that

[00:17:11] yeah probably starts off relationships and not the greatest space to begin with and yeah with him I was just like I feel this way and I'm gonna go for it and like I also knew like he's a kind person you know so it

[00:17:22] wasn't like if he wasn't into it he wasn't into it and like that would be it we would move forward from it but I just kind of like I'm gonna go for it

[00:17:29] and then he you know resisted it for a little bit because we were and had been such good friends for so long and like our friend group was not gonna be happy about it because you know if it ended and speaking yeah unless you

[00:17:43] get married it's gonna end and they were kind of like what happens in what way did you feel like he resisted it he was just kind of like I don't know like he didn't want to like you know I don't he didn't want to like further like

[00:17:55] engage and and then I don't know and then I just convinced him how I just kept trying I love it just literally like a dude apparently but but it was because you can like tell to like I was like he's resisting but like he really like

[00:18:11] wants to see what this is I think it was more about like what happens to our friend group you know yeah go sell and then and then we dated like undercover for a while didn't tell anyone just in case it was just like what if it's just

[00:18:26] physical attraction like what if this fizzles out because there is I mean you can't deny that most of the time like you were very like chemistry wise like you're super attracted to that person physically too so like does that fizzle

[00:18:37] does it go somewhere like you just don't know a lot of times until you you're really in it and you know we kind of figured out after a couple months of dating that this was we we both felt something a lot more serious and

[00:18:48] so we told everyone and they were pissed and then they got over it and were they pissed yeah I mean pissed in the way that they were just like what this is how would air you guys to disrupt what we built because it is really hard to

[00:19:00] find like family in LA and that's true that's what we had built and so they were just like uh what what are you guys doing and then you know now we're married with the kids so it worked out but like we kind of knew

[00:19:13] we're both not assholes so like if if the relationship ended it wasn't gonna be because one of us cheated on the other one it wasn't gonna be because one of us was hateful or you know like we would just go our separate ways and we'd be

[00:19:23] able to kind of coexist right just not romantically and thankfully it worked out and I'm obsessed with him but I love that yeah what was different about him versus like everyone else that you dated before that I mean he so Paul

[00:19:38] has a swagger about him that's really sexy but he's also like the most optimistic kind person that you've ever met but has this like he was raised in Brooklyn and so like he has this like also like air of confidence and

[00:19:54] presence about him and I think like all of those things mixed together were just like this perfect storm of what I wanted and needed because like I need someone who is going to kind of love me fiercely and be there for me and

[00:20:09] not play games but I also like someone who has like a little mystery and swagger to them and like finding both of those things together I think is rare and his mind like his mind is just beautiful and sexy and he is a world

[00:20:22] creator is what I always explain him as to people where like he just like will wake up in the middle of the night and has these ideas and is capable of creating things out of thin air and I think that's such a beautiful

[00:20:34] thing I'm like more of a I took this test today like I'm more of like a builder and a thinker and so I can like take and structure whatever this idea is but like he's extremely innovative and those things are you know there's you

[00:20:46] have both like the physical and the mental that I find really sexy and so you put that together and that was it I was I think that's that's the formula yeah that's the formula for longevity yeah that's what I've been

[00:21:00] that's you've got to find someone who like does it for you both physically and mentally yeah I'm looking for that I'm gonna figure out what your type is and then find it but I also went through like you know I did the in my 20s like I

[00:21:13] wanted to date musicians and like it was like I also think like I wasn't ready to like fully commit to something and so like we both happen to be in that place also just lucky yeah also when I was in my 20s I was always dating

[00:21:28] guys like 10 years older than me because they were like established or whatever but Paul's a year younger than you yeah but I've been seeing that also where it's like you know girls are going with guys their own age or younger and I'm

[00:21:40] just like okay that kind of that kind of sounds nice too yeah it's like it doesn't I mean I think it doesn't matter it's you just got to you find the person like fit your energy and fits where you are and there's like I

[00:21:52] think different levels of like I think before like you wanted to date this person who's established and had success one because it does I think there's something to be said about how it makes you want to level up also but you have

[00:22:06] to find that person if it if you are finding that person they have to want to encourage you to be on their level too like I think sometimes you start dating you find someone that's established and there's this power

[00:22:16] dynamic yeah that's not really healthy if you find someone who's established who's like let me get you on my level then like that's it let's go I know I that's that's the one thing that I notice is that when one

[00:22:28] person is like astronomically more successful than another than the other it does create a power dynamic and also like a little bit of control mm-hmm you know I mean like I have the money I have control I get to decide what we

[00:22:41] do yeah and you're the submissive one yeah and then like how do you grow from that yeah if you're like stuck in that that position it's crazy because there's so much talk about like I don't know if you're seeing this but

[00:22:55] traditional gender roles unlike see how triggered people were by the Barbie movie that's literally why because they're like oh you know you're you're making it seem like you know women need to be these like girl bosses and takeover you

[00:23:08] know politics and this and that and yeah I think it's I don't know for me I'm kind of like I think that women deserve the opportunity to do all of that and then it's up to them to figure out if that fits into what makes them happy I

[00:23:22] think the problem is that for a very long time we've been told what we should do how we should look how we should speak and and that I think caused this like this breakthrough of the glass ceiling and and and maybe there's like a pendulum

[00:23:42] swing that's happening where I'm like it doesn't have to be so severe one way or the other I think there are different type of women just like there are different types of men and like you have to do what makes you happy it's not that

[00:23:51] yeah I'm not really have to take over the world I agree I'm like I'm very happy I love being a mom and I but I love splitting like I am very invested with my child when I have the time with her and then I'm very invested in my

[00:24:04] work when I have the time and I've been able to so far successfully like split those things and like that's what works for me there are some people who want to be home with their kids all day long for me I don't find that it's

[00:24:16] it doesn't fit within what makes fulfills me to you have to really I think pay attention to both things and like I think it's better for my daughter if like when I am there with her I am a hundred percent there so it's like some people are

[00:24:27] made to stay at home and that's what fulfills them and makes them happy some people just want their career and that fulfills them and makes them happy and some people want both see that's the right message because it isn't a one

[00:24:36] size fits all no and I think where women feel so much pressure is that they're like oh you know we're fighting for equal pay and and all these career opportunities and breaking the glass ceiling and then it's like

[00:24:49] okay so now we have to do it all and that's that's the problem like some hard yeah possible it is impossible because and also no one's pressuring men to do that yeah nobody yeah women are yeah it's it's kind of nuts really sometimes

[00:25:05] you're looked at as the lesser of the sex and then you really like break it down and put it on paper and I'm like no no sir yeah what we are capable of

[00:25:12] and what the pressures that are put on us and and what we're expected to do is it's incredibly difficult and yeah trying to find a balance of that would make everyone a lot more happy and it is also finding like what you want but yeah

[00:25:25] trying to especially being a mom and then being expected to do everything else is a lot I had a point where I was just like this is too much I'm gonna tell you guys what I'm able to handle and what makes sense because I had you

[00:25:37] know going into pregnancy I was just like I want it almost have like didn't mental break down is the wrong term but like was very stretched and had to go you know what it's okay that I can't handle all it all things are changing

[00:25:52] my reality looks different let's put on paper what I can handle and then I will execute those things to the best of my ability so yeah it's always it's shifting and it's changing and the I think term girl boss doesn't just apply

[00:26:06] to being like the CEO of this company and making power moves all the time I think it's it's how you kind of put all those things together and handle everything I love that you have a system for it where you're like I'm

[00:26:18] gonna put this down on paper and I'm gonna figure it figure out where I can execute mm-hmm I think that's that's what that's what we need to do we need to take inventory of like yeah what you know what are we good at what do

[00:26:29] we need to be doing so that life can can run a little more seamlessly yeah and like where again does your mental health fit in and where does your the breaks fit in and and where do you find like you know things that are going to

[00:26:43] revitalize you because we do live in a really fast-paced world so like putting that on paper just shows you exactly how much you have on your plate which is a lot and then a lot of times when you do that you see that like I didn't

[00:26:57] leave any room for me you know and that's super important because again like you just can't show up for everyone else you got to show up for yourself yeah and women women I feel like they want everyone to like them because we're told

[00:27:12] how to oh yeah how to be and how to look and you know what I mean the standards of beauty and all of that kind of stuff yeah I read an do you

[00:27:21] know Adam Grant the author mm-hmm he you'd like him I will now you will now but he he put out this tweet where he's like men are judged based on their performance and are told what to do based on their performance women get feedback

[00:27:38] on how they're perceived by others mm-hmm and that was crazy to me where I'm just like that's so true yeah I hear more about like how I look and how I

[00:27:48] sound and how I come off yeah more than oh well this is what you did yeah a hundred percent oh yeah it's so I just went to the Taylor Swift concert guys and like

[00:27:59] that still stands up the man like it's so accurate wait which one the man it's called the man where it's basically just like she's like if if it it shows just how like if a man did it this is how that people would speak if I did

[00:28:12] it I would be the man but like because I'm a woman everyone says that I'm rude and I'm you know hateful or I'm this and I'm that and it just like very clearly

[00:28:21] states that like I'm doing all the same things that a man is doing and I should be succeeding on the same level as a man but I'm not because I'm a woman and and instead I'm judged for these power moves that I make and I'm judged because

[00:28:33] like I haven't settled down yet I'm judged because you know I said I make this much money and I got this house for myself versus for a man it's like high-five pat on the back like you're really doing great that's so true

[00:28:45] yeah I need to listen to that song yeah it's I'm a I'm a Taylor Swift fan I think I feel like I feel like slowly people are being converted to Taylor Swift fans yeah yeah I mean she had such a hard time like media really just the

[00:29:02] dirty Kanye West I mean if you listen to her speeches and I've been doing that like if you just go on YouTube and listen to the speeches that she's given at like charity functions award shows whatever every time you hear there's

[00:29:21] like an empowering message that comes from pain yeah or comes from being doubted or somebody taking credit for her work and I never thought about it that much until you know all this news started coming out about her concert you know

[00:29:36] what I mean like she's set to make a billion dollars and the only other person to have done this is Michael Jackson and yeah it's just like and and there's all these clips coming out I posted one the other day about how even

[00:29:50] Kobe Bryant said yeah I listened to Taylor I saw that did you see that yeah I was like that's very cool yeah but it does make sense like it's you have to respect what she's done like if you take away all of the personal stuff and you look

[00:30:07] at her achievements the way that you were looking at man's it's incredible incredible yeah incredible yeah like she's the top top of the game yeah like there are so many male artists who are not there yeah I saw this clip of Andrew

[00:30:22] Schultz do you know him the comedian talking about how he used to be a hater mm-hmm and he's like I went to one concert and I'm like oh yeah I did see that you saw that yeah and then and then I saw happening more and more like yeah

[00:30:36] but I love it means I love it I love it I love it we love when men do this yeah and so then I looked at the comment section and Dave Portnoy wrote something like welcome to being a Swiftie or something like that and I'm just like I

[00:30:53] love this yeah this is good this is a good movement it's a good movement yeah so I'm here for the Taylor Swift era yeah her and also like there's been a lot of stuff about like between her and Beyonce what they've done for the economy like

[00:31:08] women have single-handedly incredible things for our economy with their concerts the amount of money they brought in oh that's I love that yeah yeah not just yeah not just the concerts but like you think about like the merch

[00:31:22] the food that's sold the same did you buy merch no no I'm not a merch person really I heard merch does really well oh yeah it does incredible like they make millions a night out like I feel like I've heard she pockets I don't know a

[00:31:35] couple million a night just that's what I heard but that no I'm in the the cleansing phase of my life right now so there's no what's that like generally it's just constant but I I feel like I just got to a point where I was like

[00:31:49] I don't want to like clean up anymore and like I want to yeah I'll clean my house but like I don't like organizing anymore so like why do I have all these things that I don't really need and and gotten to the habit of going I'm just gonna

[00:31:59] I'm gonna get rid of it there's someone who needs it more than me and if I really need it I can go like can you afford to spend $200 and like get something you perhaps gave away that you need sure yeah yeah that phase of

[00:32:10] my life yeah I'm trying to get into that phase because I mean I don't like to call myself a hoarder but I love I like I love things yeah I love things I love things but but yeah every single one of my friends who like comes to my

[00:32:27] room or sees how much stuff I have they're like Nicole you need to clean this out yeah and also they're like they're like there's no room for a partner in your life there's so many things I'm like I'm like what does that

[00:32:40] have to do with it they're like trust me yeah I'm like okay yeah there's your first step yeah and I feel like it's it is helping I did do like a whole

[00:32:49] I bought all these bins put so many clothes in it and then I gave it to a girl who sells it on Poshmark mm-hmm so I feel like that's step one yeah and

[00:33:00] it money off of it too like yeah yeah yeah or even you can donate it and do like get like a tax write off yeah we have someone that just takes it and she goes she sells it downtown and I'm just like knowing also there's just

[00:33:13] in LA no one accepts baby stuff like it's crazy to me really yeah like no like baby-to-baby we'll take things and diapers and stuff that are unopened obviously but like as far as like if you have like clothes or like car seats or

[00:33:26] like anything they don't I think it's got to be because of the regulations around the car seats and that they can be dangerous if they're outdated maybe that's what I'm going with but I was just like I have all of this

[00:33:37] baby stuff she grows so quickly like I want to know that like it's someone's getting use out of it like this is crazy yeah and so we found someone that actually like takes it and then she goes to the school that her kids are part of

[00:33:47] and like gives it to people that need it and also makes me feel really good yeah but yeah back to the like the hoarding it's also really easy to do in LA I feel like we're always at events and there are things that are sent and you

[00:34:01] end up keeping things like I know that like sometimes I'm sent things and I'm like oh this would I could like your outfit I just don't wear things like I love it I think it's amazing I wish I could pull it off so like if someone sent

[00:34:12] me that it would probably sit in my closet for a very long time but like I will never wear it I wear black like that's just the reality of my life yeah yeah I used to wear black all the time too yeah but then I started when I

[00:34:24] started the podcast I'm like I want to look different and all yeah I gotta look cute now yeah now I have now I'm like paying attention to everything I'm like okay what did I wear in my last clip and I'm gonna wear something

[00:34:36] different in this one yeah yeah it's interesting yeah how I think about how I look a lot not gonna lie yeah I said that I'm like I had a kid too and this is

[00:34:45] when I was just like I'm gonna just gonna get rid of everything and keep the the uniform so that which like I can't it's I still have a lot of things like I'm nowhere near being a minimalist but just always the like ultimate goal

[00:34:59] but I don't know if I'll ever get there I know we can just it'll be like a practice yeah I'm just gonna text you I'm like what did you get rid of today yeah we could be accountability yeah I always try to now that I like I

[00:35:10] did this massive clean out take me like two weeks and now at least like everything that comes into the house I just have to get rid of something like when something comes in I try and get rid of something yeah and it's sometimes hard

[00:35:20] but makes my life more manageable yeah 100% yeah I'm also like can you think when they like I'm my Paul like he he's super creative mind and like he can when things are messy like he's fine like he can he's like his creative

[00:35:34] space when things are messy in my space I just can't get things done like I have to clean my room or my office before I sit down to work interesting see I can I'm probably more like Paul yeah that's yeah so it's good to know how yeah it's

[00:35:49] good it's good to know how you are yeah figure out yeah so how has being a wife and mom changed your life because I hear that a lot like once I became a mom everything changed for me yeah it's listen from day one Paul and I kind of

[00:36:08] said we're gonna the child is going to be included in our life so like we're not gonna just like be hermits and sit at home and and center everything around her like we really want to like introduce her to our world too within

[00:36:19] reason so we've done that like we didn't stop traveling and you know I take her out like my buddy through like a daytime summer soiree and I took her with me and so like that's been I think helpful but it certainly is like your

[00:36:31] world does revolve around them and so you do I just find that it's the need for time management and intense focus is I need it more now now more than ever because there are like you know when we have held part of the week which I'm

[00:36:51] really grateful for and I can really just like focus on work but on the days not like I basically have her nap time to be able to get things done yeah and so you do find that I think you're a lot more effective and I have come to

[00:37:02] have a lot more compassion for people who are late or who forget things because I have never in my life like I was always the person who is like early and on top of things and sometimes like the gym this morning I text my trainer and

[00:37:16] I was like I was about to walk out the door it's 545 and the baby woke up so like I gotta just like get her settled I'm gonna be late and like that I've had to wrap my head around but it hasn't you know apart from like the

[00:37:27] immense amount of love I can feel now and the fact that I can just like cry over everything is a really big difference because it's just like it's it breaks your heart open and the best way you feel more emotional you feel a lot

[00:37:41] more do you have an example well I just like any time like I can talk about her or like think about things that she's done and I cry like I'm already so proud of her and like what she's gonna accomplish in the things that

[00:37:52] she's done and there's just like until you have a kid like you don't like I felt like I was I loved Paul the more than I loved anything ever and then you have a kid and it's like all of a sudden that shifts and like you're capable

[00:38:06] of loving more like it just like leaves room for more which is a really it's it's an interesting thing it does on the flip side like I'm much more like on set I'm much more protective of my emotions which was a little it's kind

[00:38:26] of hard to explain but like when like I used to be able to go on a set and just like tap into an emotion easily but like now there was something that had to do

[00:38:34] with my daughter in the movie and like I couldn't even go anywhere near touching relating this movie to my daughter like she is so protected in my mind and in my heart that like there was no I define something else to be sad about or cry

[00:38:50] about to be that yeah which like generally I try and keep it as as close as possible but like it's just such a like protected space in my life wow yeah so you can cry on cue yeah generally I found that I was this the first movie

[00:39:08] that I did after giving birth I also was still pumping while I was working just a whole another pumping is like a full-time job in breastfeeding is like a full-time job and I would go and I'd have to stop like every like three hours and

[00:39:22] go pump and come back and sometimes I would have such a hard time getting back to an emotional place and I was like what the fuck is going on like this is like this is usually easy what's happening yeah and one I think I was

[00:39:34] like out of it for so long but also when you breastfeed or you pump you release different hormones and they give you a feeling of like happiness and love and connection and so I kind of figured out that like in the midst of

[00:39:50] an intense scene stopping and creating all these feelings and then trying to like jump back into an emotionally heavy scene was nearly impossible it just made it a lot like I needed time to like mentally get myself back into that

[00:40:03] space and that really messed with me for a little bit until I kind of figured out what was going on because at first I was just like am I not good at my job anymore what is happening right now it's it I love how you know exactly why

[00:40:15] though yeah like you're so tuned in with yourself that you're like oh this is what it is yeah I did a lot I mean the only thing I knew how to do I was

[00:40:23] like I just got to do a lot of breath work because breath work really like frees a lot of blockage so I did a lot of breath work and a lot of meditation and a lot of talk to therapy with my acting coach because

[00:40:35] she's kind of like my therapist and with Paul and like just really like broke down and like had to figure out what was going on but yeah it was a little bit of a

[00:40:46] it was a challenge has Paul been to therapy no I one day I was like I want us to you know I said before we even got married I wanted us to go into therapy because I have heard a wise friend once told me he was like

[00:41:02] you need to go to therapy when everything's great so that you have such a good baseline and you can really like everyone has issues even if everything seems perfect you can really start working through things when you're both in

[00:41:12] such a solid place and I thought that was really smart and then you know it's the nature of our society and how I was raised I guess is that like it is though I know that that's what we should do but until something's broken you

[00:41:26] just don't go to fix it the same way that like our health care system is set oh you know where it's like yeah all right well until you have a disease or something that you know can't be healed there's nothing we can do for

[00:41:35] you and I feel like it's like similar but but eventually we'll get into we'll get into therapy because it is a good thing it's like shifting I feel like men are also a lot more hesitant to go into therapy than women well the

[00:41:48] reason I asked was because like multiple times you said that he's you know like your therapist life coach so I'm just like how is he so involved he just raised so like his parents were really good his mom is amazing and and

[00:42:04] really kind of from the get-go raised them like they were little humans and so like didn't necessarily treat them like children like gave them boundaries but gave them freedoms to make their own mistakes and really taught them from a

[00:42:17] young age that their mind was their greatest strength as long as they had control over and understanding over it and and really taught them what intuition was and like gave them like somehow she had knowledge and access of

[00:42:32] of this toolkit and gave them these things at a much younger age and so that's just like embedded in him like he's so big on like willing things and manifestation and and all these things that I just didn't even know really

[00:42:46] existed you know until my later 20s so he just had a running had started that's why I said like being able to give our kid that foundation I think it's just such a like a leg up and and you know will save her from having to

[00:43:00] like hit their rock bottom or like you know feel broken before she fixes things it's like she just has a really good place to jump off of is there anything that you feel like you've experienced as a woman that you're like I've dealt

[00:43:16] with all these challenges because because I'm a woman and and that I want to protect my daughter from this I think certainly the idea like the people pleasing part of it is something that I really want to protect her against I

[00:43:34] grew up in a Bible belt and like the south basically and so was you know yes ma'am no man you respect your elders and sometimes that means doing things that you're not comfortable with it might be hugging someone you know but

[00:43:48] you're just taught that like you are a polite young lady and you want people to like you and you want to be perceived a certain way and I think that is a really dangerous thing and can be really harmful and it's not like you know

[00:44:05] generally men or not put to that standard it's a woman thing and so teaching her that that is not true and that her voice deserves to be spoken and heard and that her feelings are valid and that she doesn't need to please anybody I

[00:44:20] think is something that is really important to teach her again from like the roundup also teaching her you know body literacy teaching her like I have a company that works with menstrual health and called hummingway and

[00:44:33] teaching her what our menstrual cycle is and how what rhythm she works on like we work on the infratern rhythm the world is set up for the male experience and so we've been kind of conditioned to go like well this is the

[00:44:47] way that you should do you should be in you should act and your hormone should be level and you should power through and like that's just not the reality of being a woman like we have hormones that ebb and flow and so tapping into

[00:44:57] those things and understanding just what's going on in your body and what the reaction might be and how you might feel about that I think it's important like education is so important I want to talk about hummingway

[00:45:12] and how you decided how and why you decided to start it I saw you have you have one product the patch yeah so yeah so tell tell me about why you started it so initially this whole the genesis of the company of hummingway came from

[00:45:34] I got a form on a birth control when I was in my 30s you got off of it mm-hmm I went through you know this phase a couple of years before having trying to

[00:45:45] get pregnant I knew that I wanted to just like cleanse my whole system and be the best version of myself that I could be the healthiest mentally physically emotionally and so I got off every prescription I'd ever been on and one

[00:45:56] of those was birth control and it was the hardest one for me to come off of because I had been on it since I was 16 and I had this false belief that I was having an actual period every month which are not you're

[00:46:08] having a synthetic bleed and and falsely believe that I didn't have any kind of symptoms because I'd been on this pill and I'd never you know I was just like oh I have great skin and I don't have cramps and periods or whatever

[00:46:20] and got off of it and in my 30s realized that I didn't know anything about my body how it worked I had severe cramping like debilitating cramping my adult hormonal acne my mood swings were all over the place like

[00:46:34] I couldn't feel like I get control over them it was like I was not in my own body all of a sudden and and you know unfortunately the way that our healthcare system is set up like there is very very minimal emphasis on

[00:46:49] nutrition which is a really big part of helping with symptoms in your menstrual cycle but also there's not a lot of studies done on reproductive health like women weren't included in studies until 1993 which really isn't

[00:47:02] isn't very long ago and so like there's just not there wasn't a lot that my doctor could do for me like the answers really you can go back on birth control you can take Accutane you can go on SSRIs and all of the

[00:47:11] things I was very uninterested in and I really wanted to know why these things were happening and how and why I couldn't figure out a way to rebalance my body and why there was just no there was truly nothing

[00:47:21] out there and so I was talking to Hummingway co-founder Olivia who's also my sister-in-law about these things her mom practiced holistic medicine on them growing up and so she had a bit of knowledge in that

[00:47:34] space and she was on her own mission to she ended up getting diagnosed with PMDD which is premenstrual dysphoric disorder which is like almost it's kind of similar to like you have basically two weeks before your period you feel like you're almost bipolar and sometimes it's misdiagnosed.

[00:47:51] I heard her say that in an interview. Yeah it's nuts like the fact that this is now something that's just coming to light is it's crazy but in any ways we were both fighting kind of our own demons and trying to figure things out and said you

[00:48:03] know what this is ridiculous like we deserve better let's try and do something about this and and so he said all right this is crazy but like let's try and start a company and try and put out products that are

[00:48:14] non-toxic they're giving you solutions that are actually rebalancing your body versus covering up a symptom and really look at the root cause of things and also one that's going to give you the education that you so desperately need and want because I feel like a lot of

[00:48:27] people are just in a dark hole when it comes to reproductive health and so we then pulled a ton of people around us and tried to find like the pain points for people and menstrual cramps were

[00:48:38] debilitating cramps were at the top of the list and so we decided let's start there and then figured out what our delivery method was going to be. We went with a transdermal patch which is a little bit more difficult to sell because it especially when we started the

[00:48:55] company was more of a novelty product and people didn't quite understand how the patches worked but the delivery mechanism is much more effective. They go in your skin it goes right through the dermis layer and it works within like 15 to 40 minutes versus most medicines that

[00:49:09] you find on the natural scale will take weeks to take effect like it really has to start working within your body but this is something that could give people immediate comfort and so we decided to do that and then we started working on what we

[00:49:22] thought the ingredient should be and we wanted them to be all natural so it's Gemmin, ginger, lemongrass, vitamin E, black pepper, menthol and broad spectrum CBD and we said okay these are the things we think will work really well together

[00:49:37] and then said all right now we need to make medical boards that we can run this by them because we are not experts and then we created a really wonderful medical board ran up past them once we had kind of what we thought would work

[00:49:50] then we went to a manufacturer and a formulator did 24 different iterations of this patch and then found kind of what you know and see today is the cycle soother patch so it was a big process but something that I'm super proud of because we've actually created something

[00:50:04] that works for people and because of the education platform that we have it's called the regular a lot of people are starting to understand their bodies and even though sometimes we don't have the answer for people about things like as far as you know when

[00:50:19] people are dealing with PMDD especially but them just having the knowledge and understanding oh on this day I'm gonna feel this way has been a game changer for a lot of people because they just felt insane and they would sabotage relationships and and just starting to give

[00:50:35] people education around it I think is is huge so it's definitely will continue to create products that are non toxic solutions to menstrual cycle symptoms and work within all of the different phases of the menstrual cycle we also want to continue to really

[00:50:48] push the educational side of things how are you pushing the educational side of things and by the way I you're so right I I really didn't learn about my period or my body in that way like I just I just

[00:51:02] know I get cramps I feel emotional you know is a real thing it sucks and beyond that I don't know yeah it's just like the curse of being a woman and and for the longest time like we've been taught

[00:51:16] that you're a woman you have your period like it sucks you power through you deal with it and like it's normal to have pain and it's normal to break out and it's normal for all this stuff to happen and and the truth of the matter is it's not

[00:51:27] normal and you're experiencing some sort of imbalance that is causing this so there are things that we can do to get ahead of these imbalances so that when you like we want to create things that work within so you have your period you have your bleed you have

[00:51:41] something called the follicular phase the ovulation and then the luteal phase and during that time like all of your progesterone and estrogen are rising and falling so you're experiencing different things in your body needs different things and so we want to do

[00:51:54] is create a suite of products so that you can work within that time so when you get to your period you don't experience all of this discomfort and part of it is just people learning that like you have phases to your menstrual cycle like it is not

[00:52:06] just when you're bleeding knowing the anatomy of your body knowing that sugar is going to impact your body knowing that caffeine is going to affect you during your luteal phase like we try and do like we have something called the regular is

[00:52:21] part of our website then we do a lot of lives to a lot of podcasts like anyway that we do a lot of like events where we only speak just to try and kind of push this in like I mean that it would be a

[00:52:34] dream for us to like be able to infiltrate the school systems and really kind of get this knowledge out to young girls you know before they start their period so they know what's going on and also help with unplanned pregnancies because if people understood

[00:52:47] when they were ovulating and understood that they can get pregnant in these five days of the month it would help a lot of things and yeah and especially what we're dealing with with Roe v. Wade like it's more important now than ever that

[00:53:00] people understand how their body works when they kind of get pregnant to avoid some of these unwanted pregnancies I hope you do infiltrate the school system yeah it's a I mean it's a beast and it's definitely gonna be an uphill battle but like that is for me

[00:53:13] one of my like ultimate dreams for the company because I just think it's so important and it's one of those things where like wouldn't you rather just never have the problem like you know sure we're gonna give you solutions but

[00:53:23] like if we can cut it off before it even happens that's that's the dream yeah a hundred percent but again I feel like the school system just like the health care system like there it's not about you no it isn't about you

[00:53:37] it's sad I mean you know the other thing is like we're gonna start I think I would love to create curriculums because I you're you're right like it's very little of this politically health wise food wise school system wise has anything to do with our actual

[00:53:54] well-being and and so we can create that if we have to do it and can't infiltrate the schools and have to do it on our site in our space like we did an article that was about fathers and daughters in periods and like creating

[00:54:06] I think it would be so interesting what was that it was just how to it was educating fathers and and teaching them how to approach and talk to their daughters about their period and vice versa because I mean that's it I feel like it's uncomfortable even sometimes

[00:54:20] for mothers to speak to their daughters about their period and reproductive health and and so it's certainly uncomfortable for a lot of men and so we thought you know why not give them something that could make this a little bit easier and I think like

[00:54:33] expanding on that would be would be really great yeah no it really would yeah okay that's very cool so what does the product do so the product you it's 24 hour transdermal pouch so you put it on your disorciping and basically it goes on and it acts

[00:54:52] in the same way that a lot of insides do so like ibuprofen you stop the overproduction of prostaglandins basically and the prostaglandins are they're good you need them it's what makes your uterus cramp and sheds the lining but a lot of people have overproduction of those prostaglandins

[00:55:09] a lot of times it's due to environmental factors and so the broad spectrum CBD why we have it in there is is there's actual clinical studies on it and it's been proven to stop the overproduction of prostaglandins and so then that qualifies the pain and then

[00:55:22] all the other ingredients and there are natural anti-inflammatory antioxidants and axis terpenes so that it kind of pushes everything through the dermis through your skin layer quicker okay that's very cool yeah and then we nano emulsified it which is like kind of what does that mean you

[00:55:37] base it like we made it into smaller particles so that it could push to your your your skin layer quicker and and just gives you like the most intense relief possible yeah so we really I mean after 24 iterations yeah a little bit of perfectionism perhaps but that's

[00:55:53] good yeah it's a good thing you got a good product yeah and that's the whole thing right we were kind of Olivia and I are very similar when it comes to that where we're just like we refuse to put something out there

[00:56:04] that's gonna like kind of work or half-time work or not really work because there is there is already so much of that out there for women and like it was so important that we create something that actually changed people's lives and gave them relief and

[00:56:14] gave them the freedoms back that that this pain had taken away from them because a lot of people miss school and they miss events you know every single month they're in a bathtub in so much pain and so we said you know we

[00:56:26] really want to be able to make a difference and and it's very important to me if I put my name behind something that that it's real and it works and so yeah our R&D process is is lengthy like we're now working on

[00:56:40] something that's going to tackle mood but oh that's interesting yeah but it's just it takes us a while to get them out but you know when it comes out it gonna be good it will work okay so the patch it's is it meant to replace like

[00:56:54] a painkiller do you know I'm saying yeah like a painkiller might all that's kind of what we're we're like the natural component the naturally competitor to my doll okay yeah and you can the cool thing about it too is we didn't you know market it is a

[00:57:11] certain necessarily focus on this when we were creating the patch but it helps with bloating a lot of people say it helps someone gets that anxiety it helps people within Demetriosis it helps people with a lot of people said like their IBS because there's again like

[00:57:23] it's a lot of it's it's just helping like aches and pains my sister in law has had four new surgeries because of soccer and she puts it on it helps with like arthritis so it's really yeah it's a powerful little tool and

[00:57:35] where where are you selling it like working people go to buy it so we're predominantly DTC right now unfortunately CBD is still something that's taboo for a lot of people and so trying to get out on like Amazon just is not an option right now so we're all

[00:57:50] but you got it on flip we got it on flip yeah very cool it's kind of like a Gen Z QVC type platform so we're really excited about having it on flip yeah we're kind of you know and this is what you do as a business owner right

[00:58:05] you're just like alright if someone slams the door my face I'm gonna find a different avenue we'll figure out a way to get it out there and there's a lot of different platforms out there that we can we can utilize but majority is it's called www.hourhummingway.com

[00:58:18] is our website you can go to Ashley Green on Instagram and it's I have the link in my bio yeah I saw it makes it easier for people and we're doing a whole cycle 30 for all the listeners here if they want to put that in they'll get 30% off

[00:58:31] okay wow perfect yeah right so what so you're are you doing events mm-hmm where are they we're like an in LA we do them in LA we're doing we do a lot of like collaborations too so right now we're actually working on doing an event

[00:58:48] it's in October we don't have the exact day yet but we're combining body literacy with financial literacy I love that yeah wait who's who's doing the financial literacy part I have to ask Olivia it's in my email I'll give it to you after but we actually just spoke

[00:59:04] with someone else yesterday to who does events for women on financial literacy also and she was like I would love to do one so it could become a thing that we do because it's just I think they're both so important so important have you

[00:59:16] met Alexis Ren yet yeah okay cuz you know she has we are warriors yeah we are talking about doing something together okay cuz I was gonna say if you if you don't know her I will totally make that intro what you do

[00:59:28] yeah yeah she and I we had a couple of great conversations and are trying to figure out ways to work together because I think she's amazing oh my god she's so amazing yeah I'm going to leave on her no she's she's so caring and so just

[00:59:42] like she devotes her life to helping these like young girls and I'm just blown away yeah no she's awesome but yeah anything all of that throw our way cuz we're kind of like you know it's even like in our space like we've

[00:59:56] teamed up with so many other people in our space too because I just I think that this is such a beautiful movement that's happening and that we need to support each other and collaborate in any way that we can and so we're always open to

[01:00:09] kind of finding ways that like if we can find a way to make it fit and it's gonna be beneficial and it's gonna teach people then why not yeah 100 percent yeah we should collab to I want to do all girls I want to start

[01:00:19] doing all girls events yeah do you know Emily Morse sex with Emily she has a master class mm-hmm but that's not she would be yeah she would be a cool one but yeah I mean I usually do events through beyond I don't know if

[01:00:35] you've seen it but I'll bring like thought leaders or entrepreneurs or just people in different spaces to come teach I did like an NFT won when that was you know we were in a bull market it's okay we're moving past come background but but yeah I was thinking

[01:00:57] to do an all girls one because I feel I feel like there's so much that women aren't taught about themselves their own bodies the conditioning the programming of like how to fit in society that's yeah sometimes damaging yeah you know I mean we honestly it's like the more

[01:01:12] about the better because it's I think it's the same way and like we're taught now now I know like you have to constantly speak kindly to yourself because like the way my brain is programmed it's just programmed to say unkind things the same thing with women

[01:01:26] it's like we have to constantly have these events and constantly build each other up and constantly teach each other because for so long the opposite has been done for us and so it's very hard not to fall back into that so I think it's really important to

[01:01:38] consistently like how to just like keep pushing these things and yeah I call to make good relationships between women because I've also noticed that like women get pit against each other a lot oh yeah I can't stand when somebody gives a compliment to a

[01:01:52] woman and someone else chimes in and is like don't know or they'll be like don't worry you're prettier than her like what does that have to do with it here I wasn't competing yeah like we yeah we were yeah this isn't a competition why are you making it

[01:02:05] one yeah I honestly I still have to like to be real like there are times where like someone will you know achieve something or something good will happen in and like I'll get like a pain of like jealousy or like my

[01:02:16] mind will go to like oh and then I'm like you have to like I have to read the check myself and be like you know what dude like that's some kind of insecurity that you have or it's something that you're you're dealing

[01:02:25] with like you need to be happy for other women in all fields and what they're achieving because it is yeah for far too long we've been pit against each other and it's just like if we're not lifting each other up who's going to

[01:02:36] do it exactly but it's so big of you to notice that and and the other thing is jealousy is a completely normal emotion yeah I don't think I think if you if you feel like a pain of jealousy that's normal it's what you do

[01:02:50] with it and like yeah you know the way that you're talking to yourself about it very healthy and I think that's those are little things that need to be taught like hey that's normal jealousy is just telling you what you want yeah you know

[01:03:02] what I mean you see someone doing something it's like okay you want that too that's great they're just showing you it's possible yeah it's just a reframe and how do I get there yeah and that's it you know I mean and I love that

[01:03:12] actually yeah and I think I think men should be a part of this too because for so long they've been part of the problem of like comparing to oh you're prettier than her you're better than her it's like don't turn it into that you're

[01:03:26] making it bad I hate to bring up daughters but it's like sometimes you have to make it personal so they get it but imagine your daughter is growing up in a world yeah the entire time they're wondering am I as good as her am I as pretty

[01:03:39] as her am I am I as successful as her am I as worthy as her those are the subliminal messages that women are getting yeah no it's so true and using their daughters I think is really smart because you have to make it personal

[01:03:50] yeah it's like yeah I do I have to say to like I am I'm always really weary of like when I say like the world is set up for like a male experience like I do have to say that I do have leniency with

[01:04:02] men especially in like the reproductive health space because we have for so long kind of taken what is given to us and said like okay it's fine we're in the dark we have no idea it is what it is that like first the change I think

[01:04:16] has to happen with us and then we we can educate men and change the way of thinking but like this is also just like passed down from generation to generation and this is also just how everyone feels like oh it's okay because

[01:04:30] it's the way that it's always been done so I think part of it lies within us too to like redirect and perhaps come at it from not such a not an attack state of mind or frame of mind and come with a little bit of

[01:04:43] compassion and say like listen like you may not realize this but do I need to say more than once no but I think come come from that standpoint first rather than like attacking yeah it's not it's it's not their fault yeah I mean they

[01:04:57] it's like once we were always this way we were all yeah we were all raised a certain way with predispositions it's not like an attack on men attack on that's another thing that really irritates me is that I noticed a lot

[01:05:08] in the media or like on podcast clips a lot it seems like men and women are against each other yeah you know what I mean I don't know if you've seen these like clips of these hyper masculine men who are trying to like enforce gender

[01:05:24] roles and then they bring on like only fans girls and fight with them on the podcast and I'm just like this is the war this isn't good for anyone no it's not good for anyone and no one should be watching that yeah it's such

[01:05:35] bullshit it demeans both it's just clickbait it's horrible yeah I cannot when I see that stuff I'm just like this is fucked up on both ends yeah cannot now it's like coming from a place and this is like me and Paul have

[01:05:47] these conversations where like we have to I have to come to him and say like okay you did this it made me feel this way this is why I don't feel like it's okay and then he'll go you know what I didn't realize that I'm sorry and

[01:05:58] like he will come at me and we have this he has the same conversation with me about things and I can go okay you know what I didn't realize that I'm sorry I'm gonna change I'm gonna try and change my habits but like if

[01:06:09] he had come at me and yelled at me for it I'd like fuck you dude you know like it just it really is I think the approach is so important it boggles my mind that communication skills and strategies and tactics and communication and intimacy

[01:06:23] are not taught in are not taught in school just like any of the tools that you need to succeed in life oh it's boggles my kid in school wait but you were homeschooled what what did you feel like that was better because now

[01:06:35] everyone wants everyone wants to home school their kid right now yeah I think I'm I am really happy that my mom homeschool me I was homeschooled until I went into fifth grade I think that at a certain point we still need because like

[01:06:53] my mom didn't have necessarily these skills or the education around these things either so like how was she going to teach me so I think like it is a good thing if you have the right resources for sure yeah but it's hard

[01:07:08] I'm like it's you know it's it's hard because I don't know that we really have the answer it's like yeah the school system is definitely failing us but look what you're sorry to interrupt but look what you're doing with humming way yeah and like even even this like

[01:07:21] my podcast is all about bringing people on that we can learn from all about that you know I mean yeah I I wanted to bring you on because I saw what you were doing and it's not just like oh she's an actress and

[01:07:34] she's from Twilight like that's not the part that interests me about you you know I mean like you're actually making an impact and I think that's so beautiful thank you so it's like you know it's it's our job in a way as as

[01:07:47] like evolved beings who care about the future of our kids to you know make the changes that we wish that we wish were implemented when we were young yeah no I think that's spot on and that's I mean the one thing I

[01:08:03] my parents did always say and always try and do is they said we just want to make your life a little bit better than ours was we want to give you opportunity that we didn't have and they and they did they really did to a

[01:08:15] certain point and now yeah to your point I feel like it is is my job to now take what my life is and give my daughter more than I had and better opportunity and better education then I had for sure yeah that's the one

[01:08:29] beautiful thing about social media I mean there's a lot of negatives to it but like you do have if you follow the right people you do have access to a lot of information and a lot of education that's that's the real that's

[01:08:43] the real trick is that if you can curate your social media feed in a way where you're learning being empowered you know just following people that make you feel better yeah then it's not as toxic as everyone says it is yeah but if

[01:09:02] you're following people that you went to high school with who have nothing to do with your life and you're watching them you know post stories about their curate knows or whatever yeah or wherever the hell they are it's like look obviously you're gonna be pissed

[01:09:16] off obviously you're gonna be annoyed sitting in a cubicle watching that yeah no it's like you have to follow the people who like you do want to emulate their life in some form but like they're encouraging you and trying to teach you are your favorite

[01:09:27] follows oh god don't ask me I'm so bad at it I just have to like show you yeah no don't don't don't worry I mean it I for me it changes all the time recently I'm really into the like Cody Sanchez Alex Hormozzi like we have to change

[01:09:44] this minor all like it's like either like it's some sort of like finance or housing markets or gentle parroting or like yeah my dogs or dogs like making happy to yeah I'll share I'll share some of mine with you because I feel like you'd enjoy yeah yeah sure

[01:10:01] okay there's a question that I end every podcast with yes same question every time and the reason I ask it is because I feel like it's so hard to figure out which message is most important to us in terms of like everything that we believe in and the

[01:10:22] impact that we want to have in the world and so I came up with a scenario this is the scenario so you win an Oscar for let's say best actress I love the scenario already yeah I love it for you I hope it happens it will yeah so

[01:10:41] so we got to play that in the subconscious I need to figure out how to create my own subliminal message nighttime well maybe we maybe that's what we should do we should do like an affirmation event where like we figure out what it is and someone

[01:10:55] records it for someone else I would be I think that would be really powerful so let's say you're at the Oscars you win you win best actress and you walk up to this stage you get there you think everybody that you need to think

[01:11:11] Paul your daughter your friends you know the producer your agent everyone yeah once you're done there's that 45 second to about a minute window where you can say whatever you want and there will be headlines it'll go viral it'll be everywhere people will be sending it

[01:11:32] to each other on Instagram and tiktok and and YouTube what message is so powerful that you feel like most urgently needs to be said that you would share in that in that a lot of time no pressure I would say to maybe just the conversation today kind of

[01:11:58] informs us but like do the work do the work on yourself do the work on your craft but more specifically on yourself because until you do that I don't think you can reach the points that you want to reach I think you will excel

[01:12:11] in such a grand scale if you really look introspectively and say what are the things that I need to work on what are the things that scare me what are my demons and and how do I start to work on those things and how do I really

[01:12:23] create self-love because as much as we've heard this like if you do not love yourself you are not capable of loving people the way that they deserve to be loved and once you find that that self-love and once you've really focused and honed in on your mental

[01:12:36] health you're able to help so many other people and I think we are in a time right now where we so desperately need empathy and we so desperately need love and we so desperately need people to root us on and cheer us on because

[01:12:49] there's a lot of darkness in the world there's a lot of mental health issues and I think that if you are capable that it is so important that you start doing that work so that you can have a ripple effect and an impact on other people's

[01:13:04] lives. I love that thank you Ashley Green for coming on. Thank you for having me this is awesome