Get it together! with Christian Walker

[00:00:00] I had been trained to sort of think a certain way or whatever and then pursued that path when at the heart of who I am wasn't even authentic to me And so then I was like, okay, I'm gonna go so hard for women

[00:00:14] until this shit is stamped out and if I do that for the rest of my life then that's what I'm gonna do I'm gonna just support women, period Christian Walker, cultural icon Round two, we shot 10 minutes and then decided we're throwing it away

[00:00:32] We're throwing it away, we gotta flow a little bit better We gotta flow a little bit better It wasn't our best It just, it was giving interview and we're trying to give Conversation Yeah, we're trying to give conversation in real

[00:00:45] Okay, so you want to talk about our friendship first Well I just wanted to say I'm so grateful for being here I'm so proud of you I mean I know you're gonna, I'm sure ask me questions

[00:00:56] and we're gonna talk about me and I want to talk about you but just for, this is my first time in your studio and just to see all of the hard work you've put into your podcast

[00:01:07] and just being able to watch you as a friend grow and expand I just want you to know I'm so proud of you and it's an honor to be here I love you, thank you I wanna talk about your journey from being in politics Oh, hello

[00:01:24] I know, so to where you are now and let me tell you why because so much of what I do is inspired by stories like that Yeah Because you know, my whole thing is I want to move people away from politics Praise God

[00:01:37] And more, yeah and more, and more into What can I do for me to better my life Because everyone that pays attention to politics Is angry, miserable Preach And I cannot watch it anymore It's infuriating And half the time, I mean I noticed this with me

[00:01:57] and there's a million reasons why I went in different direction and stepped out and was disgusted and needed to just do something different but one thing when I reflect on the craziness that I was doing is I had such a great life

[00:02:14] When I look back at that time I had great friends I lived in a great place I had a lot of fun times I was relaxed And I worked myself so much into a tizzy that I couldn't even enjoy life

[00:02:29] I mean, you know, I picked up in like left Los Angeles my favorite place in the world A place I plan on never leaving again because I convinced myself it was so bad and I need to get out of here and I brought my ass right back

[00:02:43] Like it just A lot of the times it's detached from reality I mean, of course politics can determine a big part of our lives It's not to say it's wholly unimportant but at least with what I was doing I was making it like this God

[00:03:00] and I was detached from reality It wasn't healthy So that's another reason why I'm so inspired by what you do when I brag about it When we were at a place that can't be named And I just went into a pitch for your brand

[00:03:16] because I think it's so important like you said to encourage learning and what we can do to build ourselves up versus putting so much stock and things that oftentimes we can't change not telling people don't be politically involved at all if you're passionate about something

[00:03:30] but make sure that you're pouring into yourself too Amen Amen Here we go One of my favorite things that you ever responded on one of your videos was somebody commented and they're like, wow, I feel so bad for misjudging you

[00:03:50] this whole time I thought you were this and this and this and you're like, oh yeah, I said crazy things that makes sense I was just so blown away by the fact that when you responded into it you responded like that

[00:04:02] I don't judge or feel any type of way about people reacting to the way I was or like now that I've changed there's people who used to like me who react differently to me now I think when you're sort of just flowing

[00:04:19] and I wouldn't even describe my old self as being authentically me at all but when you're putting different things about yourself out there, people are allowed to have a reaction to you in what you do like when I talk about dusties now or whatever and men get upset

[00:04:34] they're entitled to be upset and I'm entitled to stand and talk my shit we can disagree we might fight, we might whatever but I definitely don't feel any sort of beef for people who used to have an issue with me

[00:04:49] and no longer do and like my stuff now I mean like, I totally understand when did you realize you weren't authentically you and after you answer it I'm gonna answer it because I have that story too for yourself? yeah, of course when I wasn't being authentically me

[00:05:05] like you realized it and you're like wait I'm pivoting out of this and I'm gonna start talking about like women and all this stuff so it's kind of funny because and I literally thank God for this because half of it was my realization

[00:05:18] and half of it was completely out of my control and looking back now I'm just like thank you God for like making that happen and getting me out because I think I had gone down a destructive path for a long time I had been doing that craziness

[00:05:33] for years by the time that I got out of it and sometimes like when you're going down a path that's not for you you think you're so far deep into it that you can't turn back number one, that's false but that's how I felt at the time

[00:05:48] and so it was around like in 2022 that I was like okay I'm feeling a little fishy this doesn't feel good right now not only does it not feel good I know it's not good but I've been going down this road for so long

[00:06:07] I really don't know what to do and keep in mind I just want to say this for people like you were getting all the likes and validation and attention like you were on fire in the craziest way like it was viral every day it was viral every day

[00:06:22] it is so lazy first of all I'm not that person anymore so I'm not like defending what I did necessarily but it is so lazy when people comment on my shit and they're like oh he was irrelevant in that world so he had to pivot

[00:06:35] no I was not I was viral every single day like I am now I was definitely not irrelevant no but okay so I started feeling like it was fishy I didn't want to do this anymore but then my dad was running for senate

[00:06:49] and then it got so out of control that I felt compelled to come come out against him and so that was really the moment that I was like okay I've had it I'm gonna be done but what seemed like was such a dark time

[00:07:04] which was me coming out against him all the backlash and just all of that family drama and all that actually was worked for my good because it got me out of the way I was going and I then was able to

[00:07:18] just talk about something that's more important to me and it was so natural I came out and defended my mom and my other siblings mothers and then I was like wait this is the fucking shit I care about like I care about women I want to support women

[00:07:30] and it was during that time that I noticed oh my gosh like my siblings moms and my mom's stories are so true like we have police reports like I've survived this and as I come out against my dad people are telling me like we're we're lying

[00:07:48] we're being paid we're whatever and so then I was like okay I'm gonna go so hard for women until this shit is stamped out and if I do that for the rest of my life then that's what I'm gonna do I'm gonna just support women period

[00:08:00] and so that's when my content changed I love it because for me and we talk about this all the time I think that's one of the reasons we bond so hard is because I want to live in a world where women have just as much power

[00:08:12] and are empowered the way that men are because you know the way we're socialized and all that it's it is very disempowering it is very like you have to be this and do this so people accept you and you have to be submissive and this and that

[00:08:27] all of this like horrible messaging that we get that leads us literally down the worst paths ever leads you into abuse horrible relationships relationships where you have no financial stability of your own and you're dependent on someone else so therefore you're disempowered in those situations totally

[00:08:45] but I want to go back to the authenticity thing because what you said about you just felt it was wrong you just didn't feel good about it yeah that's the thing yeah totally that's the thing that I felt like I was doing this podcast and

[00:09:02] oh I love this I was doing this podcast and I mean you could go look at these episodes Tom Bill Yu, Constantine Kissen you know there's a ton and I watched the episodes and I'm like that's not me I'm like that's not even me right

[00:09:19] that's not even me who is that person and I'll tell you who the person is it's the person that everyone's telling me to be mm-hmm Nicole you're too much you're a little too opinionated you don't want to seem like a bitchy girl right you don't want to seem

[00:09:36] it's like someone who's going to emasculate a man so don't act like this on your podcast if you even have a podcast that's already too bold so why don't you tone it down mm-hmm and I'm thinking to myself like okay I'm single I'm in my early 30s

[00:09:54] let me just let me just behave let me just behave because I'm not about to I'm not about to have this podcast but then be alone right which was also a misconception because remember you and I went to that that book oh my gosh delicious yeah

[00:10:13] that event about when women lead and literally every single panelist every single panelist was married with kids but and was a high powered woman but let yeah that's my point yeah was successful was empowered and then was a misbehavior because they were in industries that were like

[00:10:34] I'm not saying not even male dominant they just had interesting products yes and things that were outside of the box and things that took a lot of balls to do yeah so and then just on the note of like you feeling like you had to behave

[00:10:49] on the podcast yeah you were trained by certain people to be something that wasn't even authentic to who you are and I'm not saying that all of us are perfect sometimes we have to make little shifts in who we are because we want to be better

[00:11:03] we want to constantly grow but when you feel inauthentic you can't keep going down that road and that's that's my story too I had been trained to sort of think a certain way or whatever and then pursued that path when at the heart of who I am

[00:11:19] wasn't even authentic to me and I'm grateful that that I got taken out of that so many people go their whole lives without ever shifting or without ever turning back and going a more authentic path so we need to be grateful that we've come to this realization

[00:11:34] a thousand percent something that I was thinking about um and it's something I recently started doing with like the help of a coach but you spend a lot of time with yourself like I feel like people probably watch your videos and you're this like

[00:11:48] animated guy yelling from his bar hyped up on coffee and may probably think like oh he loves to go out and be out and be around people and crowd and you're like at home taking inventory I'm such an introvert I think there's like these misconceptions about introverts

[00:12:08] like we have social anxiety or we're shy and I'm sure that's the story for a lot of introverts yeah I'm not so I don't have social anxiety I'm not shy I can talk I love to perform I love being in front of a camera but I recharge

[00:12:22] and I like being alone and I don't know where that comes from I mean I'm kind of an only child I have all these other siblings but between my parents and I grew up as an only child and then I was a gymnast that's like an individual sport

[00:12:36] and so I was always very comfortable being alone and I like it like that and I mean you even see in our friendship I like one-on-one stuff sometimes a small intimate group but I don't no I don't like to be I mean I don't like to be out

[00:12:53] no no I know you don't yeah no I know you don't and I feel more creative when I'm alone too I think I recognize the extroverted experience I know extroverts recharge with people and all of those things but I think we also just like introverts

[00:13:10] need to sometimes be social extroverts need to take time to be by themselves so just like you said I do they can take inventory with what's going on and check in on themselves you can't do that when there's a ton of people around all the time

[00:13:23] even if you're coming to epiphanies and you're being creative with people you can't actually sit down and have an intimate moment with yourself with a ton of people you just can't so I think there has to be a balance there's this quote I think Naval said it

[00:13:37] and it's something like the quality is the quality of your life is what it is at the end of the night when everyone's gone yeah something like that that's what it is and we're surrounded by so much noise and input that you think all of these things

[00:13:55] are bringing you happiness and leading you somewhere but you really don't know anything unless you sat alone with yourself you really don't totally and again I recognize the extroverted experience and I know some people like to be out and I'm not judging that that's just me

[00:14:09] but I also do think that for a lot of people they use groups they use partying they use whatever it is to distract themselves from whatever they're going through I mean I distract myself too I'm not saying I don't but you just have to be careful with that

[00:14:24] yeah that's so true yeah so when OJ Simpson died you made a post but you somehow felt connected to this and that you related to it in what way what did that bring up for you um so I made a small little Instagram story where I wrote

[00:14:49] it's now in my Instagram highlights um and no I was not around but nor did I know about it when I was younger and going through a hard time with my parents just watching my mom go through certain things with my father but as I grew up

[00:15:06] and I learned about the OJ situation um I felt I just related to it so much mainly because he's such a charming guy my dad's very charming um listening to Nicole's phone call that you can go listen to and seeing her plead with the police

[00:15:27] and reading stories about how she had told friends that she was being abused but people didn't really believe her they didn't take it seriously because he was so charming and likable I mean I've I was like whoa this is my situation the only thing that's different is

[00:15:41] my mom is the OJ and Nicole that didn't happen she's the Nicole that actually never got murdered um and so when he died and honestly anytime it's brought up when the series came out whatever I just felt so connected to her and her children

[00:15:59] I can't imagine what I would be had I lost my mom the pain there but really I feel connected to the power of his celebrity and how much people sort of gave him a pass um celebrated him when he got off like I felt that deep

[00:16:15] in my soul so when he passed away I just felt the need to I've yeah it really pained me like I just I don't know feelings just came up so you know you describe your dad as like you know very charming and you

[00:16:31] you've mentioned to me there are very good qualities about him and you're like I've had great times with him 100% and you have yeah I think I sadly want to put other people in these boxes of good or evil and there are good people

[00:16:47] there are evil people but what's even more sinister than that is evil people that have good moments and good people that do evil things that's just much harder for us to process um and I would say that about my dad he has great parts we've had good times

[00:17:05] he struggles from a disorder that he's open about called DID and he's a conservative identity disorder multiple personalities and there's some good people in there that I enjoy or whatever but at the same time he's done a lot of destructive awful horrible things and to be quite honest

[00:17:25] ruined some lives um and when you become an adult and you choose to have children and you have to be accountable and you are responsible for that and when you create life you are now responsible for that um so reminds me of what you said where you're like

[00:17:45] you're not a good father just because you pay money for your kids or you spend money on your kids because a lot of people just think that's what fatherhood is like yeah sure we got divorced but I took care of everything disgusting disgusting no

[00:17:59] I mean yeah period you're not a good dad just cause you pay for shit you're not a good husband just cause you pay for shit and being a husband is a lot more than just you know being a piggy bank um I think a lot of fathers

[00:18:13] especially fathers with money especially fathers who feel shame or guilty for things that they've done think they can sort of restore the relationship just by handing out money you know thank god oh thank god I mean I can't imagine I say this

[00:18:29] kind of as a joke but it's not a joke I'm always like thank god we weren't broke I know there's so many people that go through a situation like mine and they don't even have money like they're struggling to survive financially

[00:18:41] most people so like I'm like one of the lucky ones um thank god that we were always financially taken care of in that sort of way but that doesn't heal that doesn't heal wounds that doesn't heal family crap yeah your mom is with someone amazing right now

[00:19:05] the best so you've seen the best and the worst what was that like for you and how did your mom I guess get out survive and also then choose someone good cause we do see with a lot of women this pattern

[00:19:21] going back to someone who doesn't treat them well um trying to convince a guy that there were the guy who's not treating them well and I don't know if that's the right way to project that fantasy of them being good on to them even when they're not

[00:19:37] so how did you observe that transition how did that work um I know my mom would say she got through it with faith but um for me and I always like to say this about like step-parents I have an amazing stepfather people have like step-parent horror stories

[00:19:55] mine is literally sent by God for me and my mom like there are there will never be enough words or enough bragging I can do on that man and what he did to our lives and the restoration that he brought and how much

[00:20:09] he treats my mom like a princess like he is the best at the same time um it's been great to observe the relationship uh but for me as a child growing up and they got married when I was like six years old so my parents

[00:20:25] had been together for a long time before they ever had me and then they got divorced separated pretty immediately and then divorced when I was two um and then my stepfather comes into my life like five six it would have I think been one thing for me

[00:20:39] if I didn't have a dad in my life like period like my dad had went away and never came back and then my stepfather came into my life there still would have been wounds there that I'm sure there still would have been abandonment wounds or whatever but

[00:20:53] my situation was hard because I had a father who was being actively destructive to you I mean I mean yeah like we I have this crazy childhood even throughout my childhood my dad's being destructive with my mom threatening all of this stuff

[00:21:13] so my stepdad comes into our lives and he's amazing and he's fantastic but he doesn't take away what we're dealing with over here he can be a stronghold and he can hold us down and again he was amazing but it's like I don't because

[00:21:29] I was so little I mean I can look back now it wasn't like oh we went from this to this my mom did she was no longer married to my dad but I was going back and forth so it was just it was a lot how did you

[00:21:41] move past all this because the thing is I look at you and I observe your behaviors not just with other men or whatever just within friendship you have very strong boundaries you have no problem saying no you have no problem saying no to me or anyone else

[00:22:01] if you don't want to do something you don't do it if you want to communicate something you communicate it very directly I feel like like from the situation you came from this was like a work in progress to get here yeah by no means do I think

[00:22:23] I'm perfect I have so many struggles like I can't even I'm not perfect I still I think I'll be doing inner work till the day I die for real I will be I'll be constantly growing and constantly overcoming things and breaking through but to be

[00:22:41] honest I think I'm just comfortable with that and I think the other thing is when it comes to the things I struggle with or my different issues I'm really honest with myself about it myself about it I see a lot of people or know a lot of people

[00:22:55] that don't even acknowledge the problems they're facing and this goes back to the ways that people distract themselves they distract themselves with partying all the time they distract themselves with work I definitely distract myself at times but from a young age I mean like my teenage years

[00:23:13] and my certain problems and how they were manifesting in my life was honest about it like it's okay to be like I'm I have a problem like this is a problem in my life like we don't have to walk around pretending we're perfect

[00:23:25] I was always really honest with myself about it and then I experimented with trying to fix it um and and changed behaviors and I'm gonna constantly be changing behaviors again and overcoming things but I was honest with myself I changed behaviors when I see it's a problem

[00:23:47] and that's my human experience um and then as far as like the saying no and all that again I'm an introvert I'm good writing solo I was an only child and I just have a strong willed mom too she's the same way thank god like I had

[00:24:03] such a strong mom and so I didn't she didn't raise me with shame like that okay that's everything he fit that's that's everything because look at like brené brown she's a shame and vulnerability researcher think how prevalent shame is yeah that she's so popular yeah think

[00:24:29] about that yeah you weren't raised with shame but in what in what way like can you can you get into that a little more because it's such a such a powerful sentence I'm I learned from friends that struggle with that what shame looks like

[00:24:47] and how it manifests and then I say to myself oh I definitely wasn't raised like that my mom just taught me to have strong values and convictions and stand in them period and that's how she is it's not even like she directly taught

[00:24:59] me like I watched her do it she's happy to say no to crap yeah she we never oh my gosh praise God about this and as I've as especially in Los Angeles I have different friends who who come from different communities or whatever and worry

[00:25:19] about this like we never ever worried about like what other people were saying mmm my mom was never like this person will think that if you do this that like no we just handled our crap we just survived together and we just did our

[00:25:37] crap together and we just went the mile and we're sit where period so I think I've just taken that example and that lesson into my adult life to and the people that are for me are going to be for me and the people that aren't

[00:25:53] aren't that's what it is you don't put weight in what other people think of you now you really just don't I remember someone asked you how do you deal with the criticism remember what you said now what did I say oh they're punching up

[00:26:09] I can't even feel it I was just like I was just like holy shit like that just the perspective on that alone and I think about that when when I think about that especially in parenting not just like when I'm when I'm going to be

[00:26:23] a parent but I hope I hope today's parents are teaching their kids stuff like this I sincerely hope because I think that makes or breaks and by the way I love your reaction even to my community and by the way Persian Jews love you

[00:26:37] all my friends are Persian Jews but you've also seen what they go through within their own community because the entire community is all about like this person thinks this person thinks that and how can I do this and appear this way so that these people

[00:26:51] include me invite me to parties so I can marry within the community it's such pressure for so many people who are in it which is why I've always had one foot out it's always been it's always been that for me because I just wouldn't be able

[00:27:05] to live that way yeah right who wants to live like that we're wearing all the time what people are saying about you who wants to live like that it's not to say you don't you don't struggle sometimes or

[00:27:15] you don't want people to like you I mean of course we all want to be well liked and well loved but I'm strong in who I am again not perfect willing to change open to developing of course always but I'm not going to get knocked

[00:27:30] off course by someone who's irrelevant to my life not helping take me to the next level doesn't care about my well-being I'm going to care about what that person thinks about me never never ooh ooh the fucking heat yeah no

[00:27:46] yeah I don't think so I mean I don't really yeah I hope I hope kids aren't learning that from their parents yeah definitely not um I know we've had this conversation and I always tell people don't steal this from me because this will probably be my book

[00:28:02] but I always say if you want if you want to know if something is the thing that you're calling it define the word love right love define the word so can you define friendship for you because I love I love what you just said right there

[00:28:20] I you're talking about we were talking about community mm-hmm but you're like look if these people aren't doing this contributing to my development care about me and my well-being all those things then why would I care about their opinions and

[00:28:34] I think one of the biggest mistakes that we make is assuming people are our friends when they are not awful stop calling everyone your friends or your best friend just because you follow each other yeah you follow each other on social media doesn't mean your friends no

[00:28:48] never because you see each other just because you work together they're forced to be there with you they're forced to cooperate with you they're not your friends so can we just define friendship really quick and I'll contribute too yeah please let's build it together so okay I'll start

[00:29:02] okay okay I think someone's your friend when they're not just there for you during the bad times but they're celebrating with you during the good times because some people think oh if they're there for you when you're down now people get joined seeing you down bad

[00:29:14] yeah they love it are you kidding they love knowing that they're not the only ones with problems right right right but when they can also be there for you when life is good and you're thriving I think that's a good

[00:29:26] that's a good sign love that I think a friend is also willing to critique and criticize bad behavior that they see in you I do that to my friends I want my friends to do that to me I can't be in a

[00:29:38] I'm not gonna I'm not going to be in a friendship where we walk on eggshells you want me to encourage your bad decisions yeah we'll never be doing that ever like you said celebrates the good times wants to see you level up

[00:29:52] goes on goal journeys with you and listen I'm not saying like every friend needs to be like we're going to the gym this morning then we're gonna work like I have fun with my friend we have fun and I don't wake up at 6am like that

[00:30:04] yeah yeah like I wake up at 6am like that period like all my friendships are fun but there also needs to be substance behind it a friendship with no substance is an acquaintance you know so celebrates you during the good times is there for you

[00:30:24] during the bad times wants to see you at your best wants to see you be your best therefore is willing to criticize you and critique you and can take that themselves and holds your hand through life and cares about your well-being cares about your well-being

[00:30:38] a friend that does not critique you sometimes doesn't care about your well-being a friend that does not celebrate you when you're at a high doesn't care about your well-being on and on and on yeah people don't realize that what they have are acquaintances and not friends

[00:30:54] very important to define what a friend is yeah and you it's not like you have to go around say this isn't acquaintance not my friend it doesn't have to be it just take inventory yeah exactly it's like so many people tell me and I know my mom

[00:31:06] does this right my mom will literally look at someone and be like that's not your friend she's like she's jealous I love her yeah my mom's just like she's jealous I don't like her energy I don't really want her at the house like that's how she is

[00:31:20] yeah you know and for the longest time I thought she was so judgmental and then I realized like no she's picking up on things that I just haven't picked up on right I don't know this because I want to believe that everyone's my friend

[00:31:34] I want to believe that but it's just not true yeah and I think even just like in dating or whatever you can sometimes project what you want someone to be you can project them being a good friend when really they don't have the capacity sometimes

[00:31:50] sometimes you can care about someone they don't have the capacity to be a good friend they haven't done enough inner work they are not honest about what they're going through what they've been through what they've been through and problems that they've worked through

[00:32:04] and so they'll start projecting their insecurity onto you that's not someone you can keep in your life as a friend you can care about them I have lots of people I care about that I'm not super close with now because it wasn't a match

[00:32:14] yeah I want to bring up something completely unrelated that I was thinking about so like you know I always read the comments on your videos and like hilarious fans are hilarious you know what I mean they're on board with no dusty period they're great and in every video

[00:32:40] someone writes and it gets like a thousand likes or whatever I wish you could just yell at me all day I need Christian Walker yelling at me all day and I was thinking because you're on cameo right yeah I don't really do it anymore but I'm on

[00:32:54] okay well here's the thing I think it would be a huge mistake to buy your cameo and have you go hey it's Christian Walker just wanted to say happy birthday Michelle like mistake yeah that's a mistake what I think people should

[00:33:12] buy your cameo for is when their friend is going through a bad time with a guy they've done that before okay because that's I've snapped off on the friend yeah that's what I think people need to be like

[00:33:26] if you if you think your friend will benefit from Christian Walker yelling at them specifically buy the cameo and he'll be like Michelle we need to talk yeah so we need to talk this guy's a dusty and let me explain

[00:33:40] he's horrific he's not even giving you princess treatment disgusting are you do you think that badly about yourself that you're willing to accept trash that's ghetto yeah that's ghetto that's disgusting that's tacky yeah but I would also like to know

[00:33:56] I mean I don't walk around all day yelling no you don't who is that guy he's like famous for going around and just singing to people I think he like sang to Joe Biden Harry I think and he saw you at Air One and he posted this video

[00:34:10] and you're just like smiling the whole time you're like oh my god you're really good and people are like oh wow he's so nice it's like dude what did you think he's yelling all day I know it's it's crazy because

[00:34:24] you're actually one of the happiest most alive bright people I know but you're just yelling to get the message across you need to yell to get the message they're not getting yeah people I mean yeah and I like to perform

[00:34:36] and I like to entertain so there's a time and a place for that but in person I'm kind of just bouncing around in my like fairy era light and I love the fairy yeah I'm just light and juicy and bouncing in person and then on

[00:34:53] on the internet I'm like he's trash yes okay so I want to go back to the masculinity femininity thing because you and I have both just by the way most people have both but they're really trying to convince

[00:35:07] you out there that you need to be this way you need to be that way to attract whatever you attract but we all know we all know that if a man is masculine it inspires femininity the feminine and it's so funny

[00:35:22] because we've watched multiple videos of like men in interviews talking about how they love loud boisterous women oh yes serious some serious kings and you made this one video on TikTok about how like all of these men are choosing the high-powered lawyers and

[00:35:41] the you know all these successful men yes all these rich successful men yeah um yeah in that video I really was just frustrated with seeing this sort of red pill sphere push out this messaging that you know men only want a 20 year old girl who's

[00:36:00] feminine and no experience and whatever and they they they were trying to project that onto successful men when when we look into what successful men are choosing for wives and I'm talking the top of the top oh yeah the the people I

[00:36:16] use were Jeff Bezos George Clooney and Logan Paul again in my video I said say what you want about Logan Paul he's richer than all these dusty red pill men so he counts as a top success story they're not choosing 20 year olds

[00:36:29] they're not choosing 21 year old supermodels they chose empowered women George Clooney chosen international lawyer Logan Paul chose someone who's older than him he could have chosen the 20 year old you think a 20 year old when bang Logan Paul for the cloud and the money

[00:36:45] of course get out of here he didn't choose that he put a ring on and a baby inside of more than that an older woman more than a woman who's older than yes right

[00:36:55] here's what I love about that story what do you remember when Dylan Danis was going off trying to I mean he pulled every card in the book I'll tell you this a man who's actually in his feminine okay would have crumbled at that

[00:37:15] totally oh I'm a strong I would I'm a strong body count but stop it I can't I can't we need he posted he posted like naked pictures of the girl yeah he posted a video of her saying that she

[00:37:32] wanted her someone to come destroy yeah someone to come destroy her body and you think you didn't see that no he's Logan Paul saw it all and he went like this yeah and and and and where's Dylan

[00:37:44] Danis now? Yeah, where's Dylan Danis now? Logan Paul, God is in fiance pregnant they're about to bring life into the world and Dylan Danis I don't even know what even happened to him and that actually

[00:37:54] goes back to our past conversation about when people are punching up you totally ignore them now I don't even know what Dylan Danis is doing I do know that Logan Paul is getting married to Nina

[00:38:03] and they're having a baby and and his drink prime is said to be worth in a billion so I don't know yeah so you know youth is great enjoy your young years if you find

[00:38:17] someone you want to get married to go I mean everyone's life is different but this idea that as a woman gets older she's suddenly not worth anything we actually don't see that when we look

[00:38:28] into when we check into what successful men are choosing for partners yeah all those times they're choosing older women right it's the dusty men that can't get an older woman or a younger woman

[00:38:40] who are making up all these rules baby you know why? You know why? They're rejected so they feel like they have to become the rejector yeah that's what it is oh that was good that was a bar

[00:38:51] yeah that's what it is so good meanwhile they don't even have any options and you touched on something really important this little red pill community which the manosphere whatever you want to call it these people are sitting behind keyboards and not getting laid why don't you talk

[00:39:06] to the men who are married? Yeah period. To women that are amazing and see what they think because they don't think like you this concept of oh a smoke show and a young like you know I feel like at

[00:39:20] first when you watched me get triggered by this word can we talk can we unpack this smoke show thing? This is real. This is something I'm like most grateful to you for like you just like giving

[00:39:33] me that that download about the smoke show thing um so let's unpack that so define you talk about what a smoke show is and why it triggered you don't talk about why it triggered you talk about your

[00:39:47] reaction to what a smoke show is I'm going to tell you about what I was thinking when you would get triggered and then where we've gotten to now and why it triggers both of us so what's a smoke show

[00:39:57] and how do you react to it not why how? What's a smoke show? A smoke show is a girl that's very attractive often referred to as like a tan or whatever that type the type of woman sometimes

[00:40:11] she doesn't even have to. Yeah I was about to say just the way she looks. Just the way she looks she walks into a room and people wonder who is that and I specifically heard over her a man

[00:40:23] talking about how one of the best feelings in the world is when he walks into a room with a girl who is a smoke show and everyone's wondering god I wonder what that guy does I wonder who that

[00:40:33] guy is you're describing that as one of the best feelings in the world something's up in your life that that's one of the best feelings in the world so so so the reason the reason that it triggered

[00:40:43] me the way that it no don't talk about the reason yet how what no no you said how stop right there and I'll tell you when you would get triggered about it what I would think okay okay I would think

[00:40:54] like are you saying like he can't find her attractive because I want guys that I'm talking to I want a man to find me attractive you want a guy to find you attractive like there's

[00:41:07] nothing wrong with sexual attraction you should be attracted to your to your partner like no doubt about it now say but okay you transmitted the download to me when it hit me through my own

[00:41:21] experiences with certain men that it wasn't it had nothing to do with a woman it wasn't that they were attracted to her and were interested in building a relationship it was the fact that

[00:41:34] that they used her just as a status symbol and that's all that's all she was furthermore those women get tossed aside all the time but you can talk about why it triggered you more I know

[00:41:47] I was surprised when you didn't get it at first yeah I didn't get it made so much sense I knew that you would get it because when you talk about womanhood you're like a lot of men

[00:41:58] don't really like women are they value womanhood because the way someone looks is literally a slice of the pie right right a slice of the pie and how many people do we know that step into relationships

[00:42:13] with beautiful women and it's a disaster because they're not even they're not a match they're not a match all that guy is looking for is how a woman looks again I'm not saying you

[00:42:23] are like you have to be with someone you're not attracted to I hope you're attracted to your future partner I hope you all maintain it like all of those things you get to be attracted to them

[00:42:32] but if you don't take into account any other qualities except how they look well you're just get ready for the disaster and also here's the other thing and you and I I feel like we're

[00:42:42] observing this together in real time with women in social circles all of these super models we're getting cheated on and all of these girls thought oh if I'm just a little prettier

[00:42:54] then maybe I would be chosen or I would be in a relationship but if you look at the relationships that are out there the girls who are actually thriving are not quote on quote

[00:43:03] smoke show oh she's a smoke show let's let's lay something down let's stop guys smoke show looks beauty important maintain your best be your best all those things that gets you in the door

[00:43:16] you get taken on the date we live in LA these smoke shows they get taken on the trips they get they don't necessarily bag a good yeah they don't they don't you get taken on these little

[00:43:30] experiences that's not what a lot of at least my audience that's not what my audience is looking for they're not looking to be taken on one trip and dumped no dumped and dumped in

[00:43:40] Dubai no like no so it's totally false a lot of the prettiest girls that we know are losing because they're insecure they don't have spice they're willing to put up with bad behavior

[00:43:53] a man will use you sometimes he'll even wife you and use you and disrespect you and whatever and then lust after a spicy queen who won't put up with that bullshit I want to get into

[00:44:02] the spicy in a second but first I want to talk about why so many women are insecure okay especially the most attractive women because when you think your entire worth is wrapped up in your

[00:44:17] youth and beauty that's inevitably going to decline as it does with all human beings and every 18 year old is gonna turn 40 50 60 someday that's just a truth right it's just the truth right but

[00:44:30] when you know that you have other good qualities like integrity and wit and fun and and things that are valued you know what I mean curiosity yeah you know being a good listener these are

[00:44:44] all good qualities there are so many good quality resilience good qualities that human beings have that are attractive and those actually bond you with people in friendships and romantically and those people will have lasting friendships but if all you have is your looks and that's it

[00:45:01] no character no nothing else of course that's a recipe for insecurity what do you think is gonna happen yeah there's no heat there's no tension which leads us to the spicy girl right we need we

[00:45:12] really need to start a movement yeah we need to start a move stay spicy stay spicy so you know I guess Lauren Sanchez is a good example a lot of latinas um who's another example Marjorie Harvey

[00:45:30] gosh oh um what's her name Sophia Vergara so Laura Laurie Harvey Sophia Vergara is probably a great one yeah yeah um and not apparently JLo's not the one right now she take talk is not having it

[00:45:49] I I so go blank when we when it's like oh come up with an example but no we think there's so many yeah there's so there are so many there's so many again attractiveness may get you in the door

[00:46:01] I think spiciness is the glue I think men are attracted to chasing and a woman who can't be bossed around and disrespected is a woman that constantly needs to be chased it is not necessarily

[00:46:16] that he has to constantly come after her you have to not be yourself it's just knowing that he can't act up and him checking his behavior and it keeps him on his toes and so a spicy woman

[00:46:28] is a woman who doesn't put up with crap is willing to walk away and doesn't say this is the only man in the world there is for me so I'm gonna accept whatever he does she's like I'm willing to walk

[00:46:37] away and go find a different king if I'm not getting the respect that I deserve from this man and by the way that's what creates heat and tension and things like that I went on a date with

[00:46:46] this guy I told you the story but I do think it's a good story where he told me that one of the best relationships he's ever been in the girl asked him not to cuss even around him I'm even around her

[00:47:02] like don't even cuss around not at me also not around me and he's like I did it once by accident like I wasn't thinking and she just gives him a look like it took a look

[00:47:15] just a look just a look and he goes and I never did it again I think like women need to trust their power a little bit more they need to know that they have power

[00:47:28] that's why I don't like this word submissive where do you want these women to be submit where do you want women to be submissive the submissive word is can be really funny especially when women are here working paying all their bills doing whatever what there's what they

[00:47:41] supposed to submit to a red pill guy sitting on twitter tweeting like you want a submissive submissive woman will you go be a good man I don't but but what do that but what does that mean

[00:47:52] that they want a submissive woman like what like what what does that even mean like I'm serious I don't understand it like I see these guys talking about like I want to lead and I'm a

[00:48:02] boss and I'm a this and it's like lead us where where are we going I think women a lot of the times think that if they step out of line or they do something the guy might run off he might go

[00:48:14] someone else go somewhere else find a different girl if you feel like that with a guy that's not your guy the right guy for you that we know a certain individual who is dating an absolutely

[00:48:26] awful person for him now I don't know if she's an awful girl in general she is absolutely horrific for him she has done horrific things and he defends her to the end of the earth now I

[00:48:40] would want a man who I check and who checks me and like we build each other up and you know we're honest with each other if you feel like you can't lay down your boundaries and say how

[00:48:52] you feel without running the man off that's not your guy a guy that's really about you and likes you will make excuses for some of your bad behavior yeah sorry a thousand percent totally you know what's interesting because I see on tiktok you're you're obviously

[00:49:10] leading as well but we have some different characters like the wizard liz oh yeah or like shira seven who we don't even she thinks everyone cheats and and and like we all just need to

[00:49:24] benefit and god bless her yeah she's protecting these women again these girls I mean there's young girls watching her yeah and learning some really good skills yeah we don't believe all

[00:49:36] men cheat but I'm really thankful for a lot of the things that I that's the thing is that a lot of times people think like oh well she's teaching everyone to be a gold digger I don't I've watched

[00:49:47] her content and she does talk about self-love and she does talk about boundaries and she does talk about you know just everything and just on the gold digger topic I just have to say this

[00:49:59] in my videos I mean like this expectation that women should be okay with living under a bridge it's all just about love and how you feel about him even if he can't even afford food just be

[00:50:09] with him or you're a gold digger no man you are not a gold digger because you don't want to live under under a damn bridge so no she's definitely not teaching gold digging she's teaching don't

[00:50:19] just be with a man for nothing you need to get stuff out of your relationship you're going to commit to someone for the rest of your life I damn hope you're getting something I damn hope

[00:50:27] you're protected and provided yeah because women tend to overcompensate when a man is giving I've done it my friends have done it tons of people on the internet are doing I can see it in the

[00:50:38] comment section I can see it in the comment section yeah and so yeah I think this is a definitely a special time for women um and I want to talk about politics for a little bit

[00:50:49] okay just because I know you used to be in that world and and it's one of the things that infuriates me so much because none of it's productive is it no none of it's productive

[00:51:03] and two basically what I see from both sides is they're trying to teach some kind of ideology that they believe is right and whatever problems you have in your life they convince you that

[00:51:17] you know you need to think this way or you need to think that way and if you vote for this person or that person then the problem will be solved which is never the case there hasn't

[00:51:24] been no sitting president that have that has solved the individual problem we wouldn't have a loneliness epidemic yeah if that was the case we wouldn't have one there was a loneliness epidemic

[00:51:35] when trump was president and there is one now right so I don't want to hear that um but two one of the things that I've noticed particularly for women is on the liberal side you have the

[00:51:49] you know break the glass ceiling women can do it all I also think that's destructive and then you also have the sexual freedom only fans that whole thing then the response to that on the conservative side is we need to go back to tradition women shouldn't be encouraged

[00:52:07] to work or have financial freedom it's just so sad that there's so many single childless women okay let's go single childless one a man came in her he was happy to put his thing inside of her

[00:52:20] but it's her fault but also it's like there's also all these single childless men so if there's single childless women there's counterparts are also single and childless thank you let's just start there yeah so that's that's already infuriating and two have we considered by

[00:52:36] looking at how many how many adults are trying to recover from their childhoods that maybe not everybody is meant to be a parent I think I think the the conservatives have lost on that one I don't

[00:52:53] know what it is and by the way I have some conservative values I have from some liberal values I know you do too right you know it's not like we need to identify with a political

[00:53:02] party that's another dangerous thing that I think is is horrible and ruining people's lives but it's crazy to see how women are being convinced that they need to follow a certain political party

[00:53:16] or it's this sense of belonging that they want to belong so badly to a group that they will and I'm just going to use this word people don't know it they will become a picmisha

[00:53:27] they will become a picmisha and let's just unpack that word for a second please I had the best definition and of course I'm going to forget it I always say there's like two versions okay I don't know if this was the exact perfection definition I gave I literally

[00:53:45] texted it to you in an audio one time I'm gonna have to go back and look but what I'm gonna say now is I say there's like two different types of picmichas there is the

[00:53:56] internet picmisha who thinks if she spews a bunch of like hatred towards women and she slams women and she supports men no matter what and a man can do no wrong that a man's gonna pick her

[00:54:09] and those men never want those types of women pearl yeah and how about the like millions of viral videos going on right now about like pearl that one guy and I clapped back at him one time

[00:54:19] but he was I think right on this I didn't watch the video but the title was pearls to masculine no man wants her you know those women that sit sit online slamming other women men don't want

[00:54:31] those women either yeah the pearls yeah the other type of picmisha which is sad yeah and you know I I love these girls but I want to get them out of this is the won't stand up for herself

[00:54:45] picmisha if I just behave like this I'm gonna get the king no ma'am no man if I just don't don't you know have any boundaries don't ruffle feathers don't ruffle feathers if I'm just a

[00:54:57] little girl a good girl a good girl yeah that's another type of picmisha yeah no that's that you know that's the other thing and and again ties back to the spicy theory stay spicy queens literally stay spicy because all the spicy girls who they're winning they're winning

[00:55:14] attractive not attractive what doesn't even matter it doesn't need to be a smoke show stop with the smoke show so oh my god I wish I looked like you standing in your convictions and not being

[00:55:24] willing to bend them for a man keeps a man yes say that again yeah seriously what were you saying about the picmisha before that I don't remember I just had to bring it up I just had

[00:55:36] to bring it up because oh from the politics the politics but that's the thing is that they train you to be a pick me and online if you behave that way you get applauded

[00:55:49] that's the other thing that I wanted to talk to you about because you were killing it you're killing it now but you were also killing it before you know what I mean like we talked

[00:56:00] about it where like people are like oh he had to pivot bubble but you actually I did not you did not have to pay it because because every every republican and their mom was salivating over every

[00:56:12] single viral video oh god like you could have just kept doing that and you could have gone head to head with the wire I mean I just you could have done thank god for taking me out seriously

[00:56:22] thank the lord yeah so what was the question I think that's just what what that yeah pick it's very easy to be a pick oh yeah yeah it also doesn't even have to be picmisha for like men like writing defense

[00:56:38] for everything men do you can be a picmisha you know for your for your ideology yeah um and yes definitely like leaning into just having one sort of identity just talking about one thing

[00:56:51] and not being able to like be flexible or seeing everything as black and white and they're being no gray uh that definitely gets rewarded on the internet you know what I want to talk about

[00:57:01] and we're not no human is like that like no you can't have a human experience and be like that no something that I I just realized now that I want to talk about because you're gay

[00:57:14] and I know a lot a lot of people who are gay in LA and for a lot of people there was this concept of shame because they just weren't supposed to be that right their parents didn't want them to be

[00:57:31] their religion didn't want them to be whatever it was I remember talking to you about it and you're like it's not like my parents were celebrating it but that but I also didn't come out

[00:57:43] you never had to come out not really no and I remember one of my friends met you on a FaceTime and he said god it's so refreshing to talk to to someone he was hot everyone by the way

[00:57:58] but he's like it's so refreshing to talk to somebody who doesn't feel shame and never carried carried the shame but also the the need to come out or anything like that like you were like a foreign

[00:58:13] concept to him yeah you know you have such strong conviction and you have no shame and you have a voice and I think that's really that's what's really special about you and I think

[00:58:27] like you know you're an inspiration to women but I also think you're an inspiration to gay men oh my god or to anyone who feels shame about anything that they weren't supposed to be or that

[00:58:36] wasn't celebrated that they were that thank you um when you were saying that um that just means a lot so thank you but I kind of thought of this one story it might be totally pivoting and

[00:58:50] going a different direction but I was always attracted to men I was like super feminine when I was little it was what it was um but people used to say to me and it would just piss me off

[00:59:03] they'd be like your dad was like okay with it like was your dad okay with it your dad didn't want you to play football like did your dad want you to play football and was like oh see

[00:59:14] my dad was a heisman trophy winner like he played professional he played in the NFL the parents that were like pushing their kids to do football those are all the dads that didn't make it

[00:59:24] those are all the dads that didn't get picked up didn't get a scholarship to college didn't go pro whatever my dad was fine I mean we have our issues we talked about them we're not great I mean

[00:59:35] I'm not even speaking to him right now there were other bad things but as far as that and as far as like my attraction like it wasn't an issue ever no I remember one time um with my dad

[00:59:52] I must have been in like seventh or eighth grade I don't even know and he was just he would like sit on the couch and watch judge Judy again like I had like everyone's family is dysfunctional

[01:00:03] like they again like I said there were like good moments they were bad moments it was just the wildest childhood ever I can't even um but he's sitting on the couch watching judge Judy or

[01:00:16] lawn order he liked those two shows and he wasn't even like looking at me I don't know how the conversation came up and he was like I don't care if you like red yellow pur- who you who you

[01:00:27] like like I don't care and it was just like oh okay now we weren't like celebrating it yeah but it wasn't an issue I love that yeah and look how confident you turned out yeah I've never and

[01:00:43] also another thing like I'm thankful to my mom and dad about because people would be like well in school like where people nasty to you I have strong parents ones from the rural south ones

[01:00:55] from Brooklyn like they one thing I'm really grateful for my to my parents for is teaching me to defend myself like no one ever messed with me in school because I'd fight you like I was willing

[01:01:07] to I was willing to fight I had a crazy sharp mouth so I totally tear you down with my mouth if you ever even tried to come for me and I was also willing to physically fight and my parents

[01:01:18] always gave me the green light my dad would be like yeah come over here he would call me guy yeah come over here and I'd be like oh my gosh he'd be like if anyone grabs you or touches

[01:01:27] you you punch them right in the nose and he'd make me like do it to his face like get right close to his face and my mom would be like my mom had this one story where her mom told her in

[01:01:37] kindergarten if this girl touches you again pull her pigtails out of her head and the next day my mom goes to school and pulled the girl's hair because the girl pushed my mom like I was empowered

[01:01:48] to defend myself how can you send your child this pisses me off this makes me deranged how can you send your child to school not empower to defend themselves and you know what I love about

[01:02:02] that that because there are some parents that they'll fight for their kids and that's the worst oh my god that's the worst the bullying gets worse yeah now I will say this because my best friend

[01:02:17] she's not shy now one of my best friends she grew up super shy and she said that her mom great mom by the way was like I'm not coming to fight the battle and my friend was

[01:02:30] like young she was getting like sort of picked on by by a guy I think yeah and my friend's mom was like I'm not coming up to the school you need to take care of this and she'd like tell my friend

[01:02:39] things to do or say or whatever and my friend was so paralyzed with fear that she couldn't so I think there's special cases but regardless you need to empower your kids to defend

[01:02:51] themselves and stick up for themselves so one of the reasons I think I'm confident and that I didn't have an issue in school was my parents were like oh if someone like is picking on you all all bets

[01:03:02] are off and if there's an issue then we pull up to the school and we're gonna take your back we're gonna take your side now if I ever misbehaved and I was in the wrong my mom did not

[01:03:12] fuck with me at all she completely penalized me gave me consequences I wasn't allowed to act up I want to talk about this topic in a second boy moms who make a million excuses for their boys and

[01:03:25] raise narcissistic awful men because their moms never call them the hell out I know we know a lot of those out oh yeah yeah she called me out and I got consequences but if someone was picking

[01:03:35] on me or whatever I was allowed just to wage war so I think that's another way that I got yeah let's get into the boy moms who do that because I want to hear about this yeah and I'm

[01:03:44] gonna make an instagram story about this I've been meaning to I just need to write it I feel like you addressed it in one but I'm ready to ramp it up again we're coming back um and you know

[01:03:57] I've mentioned this before and I got comments that were like you're blaming women you know I'm not blaming women all I do is like defend women um and I know that a lot of the times

[01:04:11] in these circumstances the father isn't doing their job either so this is by no means blaming women but I'm a victim of this through my father and I know there are so many women who step into

[01:04:24] marriages with men like this date men like this whatever with men like this where they have moms that never called them out saw them as a perfect saint we're dying to be a boy mom love their

[01:04:35] son whatever and so he can do no wrong and so those men are never called out by a strong woman my mom loved me is super warm and fuzzy I'm really grateful that I grew up not only with like a good

[01:04:46] mom but also like a warm mom that like gave me hugs and like just she definitely spoiled me and all of those things but when I was f'd up or I was in the wrong she didn't play with me

[01:04:57] so I just think when men have these moms that never call them out and allow them to get away with anything because they love their son so much first of all that's not love love doesn't

[01:05:10] just let that's not love love doesn't just let someone get away with really bad things but when when that takes place those men grow up to wreak a lot of havoc in other women's lives

[01:05:20] or their children or their grandchildren or whatever so that's my boy mom rant it's crazy to me and I know you get this all the time in your videos but how many women have put up with

[01:05:34] not just physical but verbal abuse and horrible relationships because they weren't empowered yeah um so many when I made that oj post that's now on my instagram highlights is that the story that everyone keeps talking about because I see also in in your post people are

[01:05:53] like get back to the story or I want to hear the rest of the story what which story is it so I started a little series on tiktok called our big secret and it was the story about like some just crazy

[01:06:05] like childhood stories and stories about like family stuff um and I paused it because I think we'll probably be finishing that story on a screen um but as far as like my instagram story when I made

[01:06:19] one when oj died I got so and sort of just was reflecting on that and what my mom survived I got so many messages and dms from other women who saw their moms go through it or have been

[01:06:33] through domestic abuse themselves and I think I have a really crazy situation as far as childhood and sometimes I think oh I've been through crazy crap like not a lot of people have been through this

[01:06:43] and the more I talk to people the more I realize that this is such a crazy issue that affects so many people the domestic abuse abuse and relationships whatever it's it's affecting way more people than I even thought um so yeah yeah you mentioned on a screen

[01:07:02] well because I know you and I know I know where this is headed but I do feel like a lot of people look at you and see like a tiktok star and someone who's going on rants but you're really a

[01:07:19] storyteller I mean if it's not obvious you're a storyteller you know so what what do you think what do you think is so important to you about this script or putting something out

[01:07:35] in the form of a movie series wherever you're going with it what's different about that um I think there's just some themes that can be translated via a long form art I think they

[01:07:52] translate better that way and right now I'm just so inspired by women's stories of survival that's my that's my upbringing I mean that's just what I've been through watching women survive and and survival in different different areas in relationship in you know domestic abuse whatever

[01:08:10] it is um I'm interested in broken family stuff I'm interested in blended families um and so I really want to tell that story and then of course I'm interested in experiences of young adults that's

[01:08:24] just where I'm at in my life right now I think that will grow and change as I get older and go through more stuff but especially after I got all those DMs from women saying I've been through

[01:08:36] domestic abuse I'm actually trying to leave my husband right now I just left him sort of struggling I watched my mom go through this it just hit me wow so many people are going

[01:08:45] through this like I've gotta I've gotta tell a story I've gotta tell a story people are gonna relate to it more than I even thought I know I know people would be entertained by my story or something

[01:08:55] inspired by my story but at this point I'm like oh not only entertainment a lot of people are going to relate to this what do you think it is that keeps women in these bad situations like

[01:09:07] how did we learn the behavior of of staying and not putting up with these things I mean of staying and not fighting back well I think a lot of the times women's lives are at risk so they

[01:09:19] don't even have the option to leave or they're financially reliant on the abuser yeah and so they can't really go anywhere um that's what that's what bothers me so much about this conservative agenda of returning back to tradition it's not that I think tradition doesn't have positive

[01:09:39] things it for sure does there's a lot of traditions that I think are worth preserving but this one of women going back to tradition should have no financial and not having a career and not having

[01:09:50] these things and by the way I totally understand and agree with a woman staying at home to raise her child love the stay-at-home moms nothing on them but I think before you become a stay-at-home

[01:10:02] mom you can't just be a stay-at-home woman I don't I don't I don't like that so here's my thing with that I think staying at home it's not even my thing this is just the fact of the matter staying at home

[01:10:16] is a luxury some people don't even have the option to stay home right my mom works like a horse my mom cooked cleaned and we grew up financially blessed she didn't need to do anything she did

[01:10:27] that that's just how she was raised that's what she does she cooked clean did laundry like she did all all of that but what about before she was married but she got married at 19 okay so then yeah that

[01:10:39] but but the thing about my mom's story is she she worked like a horse but when shit hit the fan she could leave because she was married to someone who had who had money and she was gonna get

[01:10:55] she was gonna be taken care of in the divorce she had been there from the start of his career before he was even picked up by a team I believe they were married like they were married in college

[01:11:06] so she could do that so that she could stay home so that when should hit the fan or if it hit the fan she didn't plan on that she had the ability to leave she would be financially

[01:11:18] taken care of if you are dealing with a man who can support you to stay at home but that you wouldn't even get anything if shit hit the fan you wouldn't be financially taken care of well guess what

[01:11:30] you don't have the luxury of staying home you don't know you don't what if something goes what if something turns destructive and you have to get out you can't so I think I think that's

[01:11:43] why that triggers you it triggers me now too yeah a woman not being able to work but also sometimes they sometimes sometimes women marry what they believe is a good man and even in that marriage

[01:11:55] things change I think everyone that's married marries a good man and things change yeah I just mean that they like ignore red flags too but but I just think it's so irresponsible to

[01:12:12] not have some sort of backup plan and be sure and be you know what I mean like imagine if you didn't have skills and couldn't work I know it's it's dangerous again yeah yeah if you're not

[01:12:25] going to be taken care of if you leave that guy and get money from him that would take care of you you're in a really dangerous situation you're in a dangerous situation that's why I keep I really

[01:12:35] just want to emphasize to people don't look to politics for a promise got a guideline for how to live your life I heard I forgot who Tucker Carlson said this too but of course a friend of ours

[01:12:52] wanted to show me this clip to be like look oh gosh and and and Tucker said you know I think people should just have have kids you know when at the end of high school or or when

[01:13:08] you know when they're in their early 20s I think everybody should just have kids then and then he goes he goes believe me you'll figure out a way to make ends me then and I thought to

[01:13:17] myself like how irresponsible is that like what what rulebook do you think do you think you're following that's gonna I just know so many stories of people whose lives and childhoods have crumbled

[01:13:33] because of irresponsible parenthood like it made me so mad and by the way for people who who are paying attention paying attention to these political voices keep in mind that the reason

[01:13:49] that you feel so compelled to put them on a pedestal is because you really want to belong to a group and a lot of times these people have not made the choices that they're pushing on you

[01:13:59] a thousand percent can you talk about how even some of the stuff you said you look back at and you're just like wait oh I can I can say one now I'm not saying I mean this is just the first one

[01:14:09] that came to mind well no I'll say a few yeah just say what I mean I said it earlier when I was talking shit about California and it's my favorite place in the world like I literally

[01:14:17] I'd be like LA this and that of course we're not a perfect city what city is perfect we have issues we have a lot to handle but I don't even like to travel like I don't jump at like taking a

[01:14:29] trip I literally don't want to leave I'm like I'm perfect here we have the mountains we have the beach I can pop down we have air one we have my coconut cloud smoothie no banana extra pineapple I can

[01:14:40] pop down to like OC I can go I don't want to leave I didn't want to leave back then but I got I was you know yeah my little internet self and I would it was so disgusting it was crazy

[01:14:55] Florida was the place you had to go to like one thing that I'm sort of it's just a little hard because listen my stepdad didn't go to college he's super successful

[01:15:06] I think there's a lot of college degrees that are useless and I don't want people to sign up for those especially if they're going to go into debt for it and they are going to have to pay

[01:15:14] that off themselves and they can't find a job that can pay that debt off but I would talk so much shit on college while I was in college like like I just there's things to say about college and I

[01:15:29] still have a lot of shit to say about it lots especially those useless degrees all that but I was a total hypocrite I was in college so half of these people that push this shit don't make those choices themselves Tucker did he have kids out of high school

[01:15:48] no did his wife have kids out of high school no is his wife educated I'm sure she is dude not everyone is Campbell soup or Swanson air whatever he is he has tons of money like a

[01:16:01] lot of people they can't write out a high school so encouraging that just ridiculous irresponsible and also like Charlie Kirk talking about youthful women when he when he married someone older yeah but then he's like oh men like youthful much younger women stop it he marries older

[01:16:18] stop it stop it I think one of the most powerful things you said today was that when you're on that road and you think you're too far down it you're not you're not you can turn around

[01:16:32] at any point totally you can turn around at any point and I think people I think look a lot of people do feel very very lonely I think a lot of people go down paths that are not for them

[01:16:47] whether it is alcohol drugs partying politics whatever it is religion they try to find something that they hope will fill that hole or they hope will get them validation and you were getting

[01:17:00] again you were getting tons of validation I know again can we just repeat when people are like he he got thrown out of that way no I chose to leave I never was not getting validation baby I got

[01:17:09] a little backlash for a second never was there and I just one more correction um because I do see the commentary there are people from that world that political world who

[01:17:21] still don't even know that you left they come up to you in front of me and they're like hey I'm with what you stand for and you're just like I'm like you're like I'm like oh dusty suck

[01:17:32] oh yeah great it's so funny when people come up now just without them even saying you can say you can tell what camp they're in like which version of me they support when my one of my other

[01:17:44] friends she's always like oh my gosh I love the new fans they're so joyful they're so happy I love their all smiles they come up it's like it just it's empowering and then when old fans come up

[01:17:55] it's always straight up negativity love them I'm so grateful for their support I'm grateful but it's just funny how the people that I speak to now come up with all this positivity

[01:18:09] and happiness and joy even if they're going through a tough time it's all smiles and the old group all negative all the time where I'm like well I told one girl excuse me we're in Beverly Hills

[01:18:20] right now like the sun shines out you just bought a $30 smoothie I don't want to hear I don't want to hear how bad your life is I had to check her I was like girlfriend no

[01:18:30] and they're so obsessed with like who are you gonna vote for do you think this person's gonna win or do you think that person's gonna win and it's like there's things to do babe babe

[01:18:39] we have a life to live I can't I'm like babe I'm drinking a smoothie right now please you love that coconut cloud yeah that's my favorite and I love the mango one Malibu

[01:18:53] literally no one else gets that one but you have never seen anyone get that's I love that you get that one it's so good I don't understand how they don't I tried the Winnie Harlow one

[01:19:03] terrible didn't like it I think for people who don't like like too much sugar we're kind of more is the blue one that you get sweet um it fluctuates if the pineapple sweet it's really

[01:19:17] so it's more sweet Winnie's was just a little too tart for me yeah have you had the Hailey Bieber one I like it without banana yeah okay you're not a banana I hate banana so I get everything without

[01:19:30] banana do what else do you get you get stuff from the hot bar at everyone and then hot bar recommendations I mean I'm kind of basic I like the buffalo cauliflower the rotisserie chicken

[01:19:39] I love when they have the crispy cod no one ever gets it but I have you not had Korean short rib no ah I don't Korean short rib everyone likes that garlic miracle noodles oh I you love that right

[01:19:52] unreal I love I love the hob I think it's worth every penny yeah I think it's worth every penny and the fact that they don't have seed oils they don't know I didn't know that seed oils yeah if you

[01:20:03] look at most of the ingredients like they're they're using olive oil sometimes you get like coconut oil coconut amino whatever and everything's organic mom so to me it's worth I like it I

[01:20:16] don't care I know what's overpriced I like it I got a membership oh I don't even have a membership this is all because of you oh my gosh at the at the cafe or at the whole thing no the whole

[01:20:26] thing I think okay I need to join yeah my little he always tries to get me to join oh your friend yeah yeah yeah yeah it's so good that you have like people at everyone who know you

[01:20:38] but it's all it's one specific one I mean a couple try to get me to join but there's one that's but I mean you go to the one that one yeah a lot yeah okay yeah we're gonna start

[01:20:50] we're gonna need to hit up other air ones the one in studio city I love that one oh my god the vibe there there's young people I think I honestly I have like the vibe they're better

[01:21:00] I have to say I think and I've never gone there for this reason although I want to suggest it to the young people of Los Angeles I think studio city air one is an amazing place to maybe find

[01:21:15] someone that you would want that no 1000 because first of all they're spending money it's by a gym it's by a gym so that that's a double the lifestyle and they're just cool they're so cool they're not put on they're hot every time I go with

[01:21:32] one of my other friends we haven't been to the studio city one together we're always like every time we go we're like oh we could I call you from it too yeah it's awesome yeah no I love that

[01:21:46] where else do you go why I can't I can't I don't want it's scary how many people approach you when we're out I love alphards we'll just leave it there I love alphard's

[01:21:57] there's a ton of locations yeah no there's one place that I can think of yeah me too that I'm not gonna say yeah it's open um we do love we can say because you can't just get in I do love

[01:22:11] San Vicente bungalows uh but yeah we love Dimitri oh Dimitri he's unreal um and yeah and we like being at home I'm so happy that you're in LA me too I'm so happy that you're in LA thank

[01:22:28] you god for bringing me back I'm so happy to be be here it's the best I'm so excited for everything that's gonna happen yes for both for both of us yes yes no for me too yeah um and it's so fun

[01:22:40] being your friend and being able to go on the journey with you I love you I have to say this is one friendship that I am so so grateful for not just because you're there during the good

[01:22:54] times because you are there during the good times you have such similar values to me like I love that we can do like a meditation and you're into that I love that you love the friends

[01:23:07] that I curate and the events and whatever but I also love that we are able to call each out each other out on stuff like I can't even I can't even count the amount of times that both of us

[01:23:20] have said like hold on I'm gonna stop you right there yeah hold on no yeah this isn't gonna and it's like and it's like we think about it and we're like oh my god but I we need that we need

[01:23:28] that in the moment so to quote you careful of the friends that are just letting you not just letting you engage in bad behaviors but letting you think thoughts that are destructive

[01:23:41] forget the forget the bad behavior the thought even the thought of like being inferior or I'm not good enough or oh if I was only this pretty or that doesn't even matter yeah it doesn't matter

[01:23:54] I'm telling you if you were two points hotter on the scale of hotness I promise you that wasn't gonna keep the guy no wasn't gonna keep them that wasn't gonna keep but you were gonna get you might

[01:24:05] get pumped and dumped but you yeah we wasn't gonna keep them and by the way something that I think that women really need really need to understand that Shira talks about

[01:24:17] is that a lot of men and I'm not saying all men because we do love good men like this every video I make I mentioned kings yeah I mentioned the good man I'm obsessed with good

[01:24:28] men we love that obsessed we love them we have them in our lives we talk about how good they are we even say like we have certain friends where we're like I want a guy like that yeah totally so

[01:24:37] this isn't about hating men um but I lost my train of thought what was I saying something that Shira often says oh something that Shira often says is a lot of men will say whatever they need to

[01:24:50] whatever they need to to get what's in your pants and that's why it's so important for women to have boundaries to wait and also I don't know if it's society the movies whatever

[01:25:08] but we love love I love love like I love love I love the feeling I love I love even having a crush on someone I do love that but as someone who knows better I don't take that as everything

[01:25:26] I'm not like even if I have a crush on someone how do I know that that person is going to be there for me in the long run I don't just because I feel something so now he deserves all of my time

[01:25:36] and it might my behavior has to be modified to cater towards that guy I don't think so that's the problem that a lot of these girls do that's the problem is that period

[01:25:46] and and then they wonder why doesn't he like me that fiery feeling you get in your stomach of attraction or the age is the age is the but the all this a lot of the times that is your trauma recognizing

[01:25:57] a similar trauma in him and being attracted to that yeah a fiery feeling in your belly a little crush does not mean that that person is a good match for you we need to be judging people

[01:26:08] based on how they treat us and what they're willing to do for us and whether they're willing to commit and go on a life journey with us not off a feeling in our stomach that feeling can fade

[01:26:17] love is not just some feeling that can fade love is an action it's something that grows over time it's a verb when we look at or talk to couples who have been married for 60 plus years they often

[01:26:28] say I love them more now than I did when I met them or then I then I did when I got married because they've been through trials together they've been there for each other they've built

[01:26:37] stuff together they've gone on a journey love grows over time through actions it's not just a little feeling no the what people are experiencing and calling it love is emotional addiction you feel

[01:26:48] emotionally addicted to someone yes they're gone for a period of time or they've rejected you or something and then all of a sudden they give you a hit of attention a breadcrumb whatever yep

[01:27:00] and now that's magnified in your mind now that it's literally the equivalent of gambling yep lose lose lose lose one win and that feels like the biggest high yeah that's what this

[01:27:10] person is to you that's what this person is to you it's awful is that is that what you want for yourself hell no no and it takes it takes people experiencing tremendous heartbreak tremendous loss tremendous discipline too but it takes them experiencing tremendous depressive episodes

[01:27:28] for them to realize no i'm not doing this i've i've been through all that with men all of it most women have depressive episodes in my life's over because of this guy whatever

[01:27:38] and i say to friends now when they continue giving energy to a guy that has proven that he's not good for them i say to them because i've been through this with men before already and instead of

[01:27:50] continuing to repeat the pattern i've changed my behavior and changed what i'm attracted to so i don't have to put up with that anymore thank god i learned my lesson young and i didn't

[01:27:59] have to go through all my 20s fn up in my 30s whatever i say to friends now you just haven't been f'd over enough now i go yeah like you just need to get screwed over and if they keep complaining

[01:28:10] about the same guy i just laugh and i go i'm glad it's not me you you haven't been through what i've been through so when you've been through a little bit more and you've been heartbroken a little

[01:28:19] bit more then you'll finally be over it but you haven't been down bad enough yet what was your type before and then what is it now because you said you trained yourself to like something

[01:28:29] different yeah so first of all i know this is going to trigger some people and i hope it does i want to say one thing what you're attracted to now physically you can grow 100 we we know a

[01:28:44] friend who's like i only like 10 out of 10 smoke shows no you can expand so one i'm really proud of myself for expanding what i'm attracted to physically and that comes from taking into

[01:28:57] account more than just looks but when i was younger a lot of my what i was attracted to yeah was was look focused remember when we both liked middle eastern men only

[01:29:10] no i never only oh mine was i never mine was only only mine was only i they were at the top of the food chain um yeah but when you asked that question i didn't immediately

[01:29:29] i didn't immediately think you were talking about looks i just wanted to say that if you are finding yourself like really restricted you can expand i've i've i'm not gonna put up with

[01:29:40] this you can totally expand but i used to really like put a lot of stock into a certain look um and now it's a i want to be attracted of course i will only put up with being attracted

[01:29:53] to someone but i now only allow myself to even get attracted to someone if they're giving me princess treatment if they are not doing anything for me pursuing me or coming after me

[01:30:06] i can't even get myself to be attracted to them what am i attracted to i'm attracted to how someone looks i can go to the grocery store and see someone attractive like i can go

[01:30:15] anywhere in the world especially in los angeles and find someone attractive that just not that's not something i want to pursue i only really get that attraction feeling if someone's giving me

[01:30:25] princess treatment now i've trained my body to be like that and at 24 years old thank people forget how young you are i said this before but i'm gonna say it again because um but that girl

[01:30:41] that came up to you who was nearing 40 and she said i broke up with my boyfriend because of you and now she's engaged to a guy who took her to europe on their second date love it and love it

[01:30:56] she she came up to you and told me thanks my word yeah so it was such an honor and i want to say one another thing her fiance also liked me so when dusty men are throwing

[01:31:08] temper tantrums in my comments i don't i don't feel like oh i'm pissing men off men are gonna hate me because the kings like what i have to say the kings agree with me always it's only the dusty men that

[01:31:19] disagree oh my god how many times have i found a stitch video of a king i love those i thought about this and he's right and i'm at first i was triggered by what he said and then i thought

[01:31:31] about it and i was like he got a point yeah i love those i love maybe i'll like stitch one of these in here because it's iconic love i love it and so i think people people should just pay attention

[01:31:45] to pay attention to the good relationships because you'll find something that's starkly different than the way you feel or what your girlfriends are telling you or what you think looks good on

[01:31:55] instagram or whatever we don't even talk about have we ever looked at an instagram post of an instagram couple and thought i want what they have never never i don't even ever seriously i don't

[01:32:05] care if someone's a smoke show thinking someone's a smoke show and caring about that is like a girl looking at a guy who's rich and being like oh my god he's so amazing you don't know anything about

[01:32:16] him you don't know you don't know anything about it kindness and the way they treat you are way more important totally total having that is good having that is good i'm not we want that we

[01:32:26] want that that's fine but you cannot let that lead you just never let it lead you judge a romantic interest on how they treat you and nothing else i mean like you need to take other

[01:32:36] things into account but you don't let yourself get over the moon about someone unless they're giving you that princess treatment period yeah and you protect your heart i was thinking about it

[01:32:46] you give so much advice to women and i'm wondering what would you say to men what would you say because sometimes you do you do pepper in like something for a man like look if you're

[01:32:58] this you know you need to be doing this but like what would you say to a man i guess you do say it to our friend um who they say they're looking for a good woman

[01:33:11] right they say they're looking for the men that say this are never first of all what is a good woman what is a good woman do they even know i think oftentimes they don't when they when i hear

[01:33:21] that majority of the time they're looking for a smoke show that they can project qualities onto they're not looking for a good woman yeah um i think this one thing i've been mentioning a lot

[01:33:33] in my videos is that men are not entitled to a woman so if they were to ask me that question i'd say well let's talk about what you're doing in your life right now to get her and to earn her

[01:33:46] and to attract her are you building are you doing really good at work are you in the jail like what are you doing to then be able to go out and earn that woman you're not entitled to a woman

[01:33:58] just as you are a man needs to put out put work in to get the woman so when they say things like that i'm like well let's just do a little inventory of your life and what it looks

[01:34:08] like right now and then we'll get to that what about if they came to you and said yeah but like what qualities should i look for in her what should she be doing in the relationship is

[01:34:18] should i just date any woman so people should look into like the Gautman Institute yes please and and no politician or political party is gonna talk about these things like please stop looking

[01:34:29] to these people for advice it's just like yeah they don't they don't be no one they don't get it they don't get it um i'm gonna ask you a question that i ask everybody on this show

[01:34:40] and it's a hypothetical scenario because i feel like people have such a hard time identifying what's like the most important message that they want to share because there's just so many there's just so many um and so here's the hypothetical scenario you're at the Oscars

[01:35:02] because you're nominated for a film and they call out the nominees and when they call out the winner you hear Christian Walker and you walk up to the stage you think everybody that you need to think your mom even your dad

[01:35:26] your stepdad all your friends everyone who contributed to the movie god and there's a 45 second window before they start playing music for you to wrap up what message is so important to you that you're

[01:35:46] gonna say it in that 45 seconds that is the craziest question ever um i think naturally i would mention something about the project and a theme of the project and then say something about how

[01:36:05] you were not your pain your trauma or the things you've been through and life offers opportunities to heal and support yourself enough and love yourself enough to take those opportunities do the

[01:36:18] work so you can be the best version of yourself for you and for the people around you don't let your pain guide you find ways to overcome it because you're worthy of it love that's i mean i would

[01:36:34] i would have to come up with something better no but it's good it puts you i would you have an idea something like that okay amazing i love it thank you for having me oh my god thank you for